


Game Changer

by Livingshroom



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: AU where people catch onto Derrick's shit, Coming Out, Cuddling, Daddy!Kink, Feeding Kink, Jealousy, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Pining, Sexual Repression, baby talk, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:36:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livingshroom/pseuds/Livingshroom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zach wins a babytard instead of a trip to Germany. Frankie likes it way too much.<br/>This one event transforms the Big Brother game: Zankie was never broken, Nicole tells Frankie about the Rationale, Donny steps up his social game, and a new alliance forms without the puppet master's permission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Punishments and Prizes

When Zach received a punishment costume in a competition, he was mostly just disappointed that he had missed out on the cash prizes and, of course, the veto. Caleb had won 10k, Victoria got a vacation to Germany, and Frankie, master of all competitions, scored the veteo. Zach was at least thankful he didn't have to do butt kicks like Cody or a thousand penalty kicks like Brittany.

He read his card out loud: "Time to get your rattle on! You have won the babytard. For the next two weeks, you will not only have to wear the babytard but also only eat baby food, _ugh_ , which must be feed to you by one house guest of your choosing. Also, you must take daily naps."

Zach shrugged as the other house guests laughed at his misfortune. He figured that baby food couldn't be worse than slop, and he already slept 80% of the time. No big deal.

He had to put the costume on immediately after the comp ended, and he complained in the Diary room that it didn't fit with the German theme. They told him to suck it up and that they had lost the original germatard due to misfortunes.

" _Awwww_ , Zach you look so cute," Frankie squealed at the sight of him, and Zach laughed at the compliment. Frankie's eyes swept over him, and they seemed to be more intense than usual. The girls, Victoria and Nicole especially, also fawned over him for a couple minutes, but Frankie's attention on him was constant.

"You got a pretty good punishment compared to Cody and Britt. I mean it's not even a unitard as the name would imply. It's more like- like a snuggie of sorts. And this baby food looks pretty good, to be honest," Derrick noted as he inspected the jars. Zach picked up one, carrots and peaches, and shrugged. 

"Yah, but I have to have someone feed me, which is weird. Like who even thinks of these punishments?"

Frankie immediately wrapped around him, pressing kisses on his cheek, and cuddling him. Zach loved it, and he leaned back into the touches. When the affection was a little too intense, and he remembered the camera; Zach pushed him away with a _Frannnkkiiiee._

"So, you're going to choose me, right? To be the the house guest to, um, feed you?" Frankie asked as Zach undid the lid of one of the jars. Zach was going to immediately say yes, but he thought better of it. _  
_

"I mean...maybe one of the girls would be interested. Hey, Nicole! What do you think of giving your baby a little TLC? Or how about you Victoria. The more ladies the better!"

Victoria rolled her eyes, "As if, Zach."

Zach clutched at his heart- pretending to be wounded -as Nicole slunk away to be close with Hayden for the night, and Victoria gave him a dirty look before going off to sleep. Frankie didn't say anything except went to unload the dishes, and Zach could tell from the clenched muscles in his shoulders that he was annoyed.

Zach was torn between apologizing and making a joke when he was called to the DR.

 

                                                                        ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Zach's DR_ : "America, I may be wearing a baby costume but that does NOT mean I'm the biggest baby in this house. I mean have you MEET Victoria? That girl needs someone to hold her hand for EVERYTHING! If anything this will help me strategically by making me seem like a weaker player- plus ladies LOVE babies. So bring on the kisses for your ZachAttack!"

                                                                      ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Frankie and Zach slept in the HOH together. Cody was outside doing his kicks as Brittany scored her goals. They had a whispered conversation about game strategy when Frankie rolled over to look at him.

"Zach, you would pick me, right?"

"What?"

"To take care of you," Frankie whispered so low that the mics might not pick up on it. Zach fidgeted because he felt that the question held more than one meaning.

"Of course. I wouldn't want it to be anybody else but you- it would be weird."

"Good. Because I want to be the one to do it. With you."

They whispered _Iloveyou_ 's and went to sleep, and Zach felt content. He loved being in the bird's nest at 1 am with Frankie because the world felt right and in place.

 

                                                                       ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Zach was hungry in the morning so he brought a jar, banana and broccoli, to the HOH room. Frankie had already rolled out of bed when Zach rejoined him with a jar and spoon in hand. Frankie smiled at him and gestured for him to come closer.

"Hows my baby this morning? Hungry?"

"Fuck yah I am. I haven't eaten in like 12 hours," Zach groaned as he fell to the bed, and Frankie followed him.

He handed Frankie the jar and spoon, and he settled besides him. It was odd. More intimate than Zach would have thought, and he wasn't sure what they should talk about as Frankie spooned out the mush and feed him. 

"Does this make me your Daddy?," Frankie teased- always trying to make an uncomfortable situation lighter with his humor- and Zach giggled in response.

"Of course it does," Zach responded in his best Marilyn Monroe impression, and Frankie laughed at the attempt.

He felt at ease again as Frankie stroked his leg, and he allowed himself to be fed without a single complaint. It didn't have to be weird if they didn't make it that way.

 

                                                                     ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Zach didn't like doing it in public. Of course, _everywhere_ was public since there were live feeds, but he didn't like to be reminded that all of America was watching him being spoon feed by his best friend- who happened to be gay.

Frankie, Derrick, and Nicole were lounging in the backyard when Zach got hungry again. He could have called Frankie to the kitchen, but Frankie seemed to be content lying outside. So, Zach brought out a jar and spoon and tried to act like it was no big deal.

Of course, there was no entertainment in the Big Brother house except for one another, and Derrick and Nicole could barely contain their glee.

"Hungry?" Frankie asked simply, and Zach nodded. Frankie undid the lid as Zach moved closer til their legs were touching.

Only one bite, and he was self conscious of the others watching as he obediently opened his mouth for Frankie to enter. He could feel his cheeks start to warm, and he wished that Derrick and Nicole weren't here.

"God, this makes me miss my own baby girl. When I feed her I always go 'choo choo here comes the train,'" Derrick mummered wistfully as he leaned back.

"Choo choo. Here comes the train," Frankie mimicked, and Zach giggled as he eagerly parted his lips. Frankie's eyes lit up a little, and Zach imagined they were having way more fun than was required.

"What else would you say?" Frankie prompted to avoid silence.

"Um, maybe something silly like 'Open up for the car. Beep beep," Derrick responded, and Frankie copied him again. Zach leaned closer, and they were pressed pretty tightly against one another. Frankie was finishing up the jar and wiping stray mush off Zach's lip when Cody walked outside

"You got off easy with the baby punishment, Zach, unlike my punishment," Cody whined, "I mean, no offense, but Frankie already babied you 24/7."

Zach, who had been feeling self-consciousness before, felt immediately disgusted with himself. It was one to have your best friend baby you and another to love it when he did. He didn't respond as he fidgeted in the costume, playing with the light blue fabric, and stared at the ground.

Frankie, sensing his discomfort, moved away. He slipped up besides Cody, kissed his forehead, and promised to baby him too. Cody, who had been glaring judgmentally at Zach before, grinned at the attention. Zach was tempted to hit his smug little face.

He moodily threw his jar to the ground, where it surprisingly didn't shatter, and marched inside.

"Zach! Please pick up you jar! Zach!" Big Brother warned, but Zach was already slamming the door to the backyard shut. Behind him, he could feel the stares of the other house guests.

                                             ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Frankie's DR_ : "What do I think of Zach's costume? Well, Zach's always been a mix between Mussolini and a toddler. One minute, he's cooing up under my arm, and the next he's terrorizing the house with his antics. I don't know wither it's scary...or adorable. Maybe both.

                                            ---------------------------------------------------------------

Zach went up on the block as pawn next to Jocasta, and he wasn't really worried because he knew that his alliance had his back. He lost the battle of the block, against Victoria of all people, and he wasn't too worried about veto.

Him and Frankie were cuddled up in the fire room at eight o'clock the night before the veto. Frankie had brought him food without Zach asking, like he could read his mind, and Zach felt a flood of warmth as Frankie slipped under the covers to lie beside him.

"Getting enough sleep, Zachary?" Frankie was curled up close to him, and Zach nodded into his arm. Their legs were intertwined between the blankets, and Frankie kissed his forehead.

"God, dude, I'm just so happy you're here. You're honestly the only reason I haven't self-evicted or exploded. I feel safe sleeping and not trying to get votes. There's no danger, and I trust you with my life, bro."

"I-I always try to take care of you," Frankie mummbled, and Zach noticed the slight hesitation, but he dismissed it. Frankie was warm and soft against him, and he was looking down at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world as he undid the baby jar. 

"I like when you take care of me- it's weird."

"Yah? Well, I like to take care of you," Frankie leaned in close as though he was going to kiss Zach, but instead smeared baby food on his cheek and licked it off. Zach groaned and halfheartedly pushed Frankie away while Frankie moved even closer. Beneath the blankets Frankie had his leg pressed uncomfortably close to Zach's crouch, but Zach didn't try to move. He giggled like a 12 year old girl with a crush because he clearly wasn't capable of intelligent thoughts right now.

Frankie started to tell him a story about how Caleb tried to fry an egg in pot, and Zach nodded along and admired Frankie's smile. In fact, he admired everything about Frankie: his humor, his eyes, his intelligence.... 

The chatter dissolved into comfortable silence, and Zach snuggled his head on Frankie's chest and stroked his stomach. Frankie was spoon feeding him, and it was perfect. 

"Zach, I- I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to freak out..."

"What?"

"Pinkie promise, okay. Because I'm putting my whole game on the line telling you this, but you're my- my Zankie. And I don't want to make a mistake. So promise me if I tell you this that you won't overreact or go on a rampage?"

Zach swallowed and wrapped his fingers tightly around Frankie as he prepared himself for the worst, "Promise."

"They want to flip the house. Derrick's been saying...and Cody...basically they're telling me you're screwing with me and that you're-"

" _What?_ How could you believe that? Frankie- you have my game in the palm of your hands! You literally could not find anyone in this house more devoted to you than me. You have to be- be- I don't know! Why would you listen to that?" Zach tried to move away, but Frankie pulled him back and kissed him on his forehead. Zach buried his head into Frankie's chest, and he inhaled his scent to calm himself.

"I know. I know. I'm dumb. But I didn't- I told you, and now I need you to stay calm. We're going to get them to flip this shit-"

"And take them the FUCK down-"

"Shhh. Yes, of course, Rose. They missed with the wrong pair of bitches."

Zach laughed, giddy with excitement and fear at discovering this dirty plot, and all that mattered to him was that Frankie had his back. He pulled the covers over their head, covered his microphone, and gave Frankie a chaste kiss on the mouth. They were hidden here, two against the world, and that was the way he wanted it forever. Zach, cheeks flushed, pulled the covers down and slipped out of the bed as Frankie, silently, watched him leave.

 

                                               ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Zach's DR_ : "Me and Frankie FOREVER, baby! I _love_ the kid. He's my best friend, and I trust him with my big brother life. If there's anyone who can save me it's him. What am I going to do with the rest of my 'alliance'? Hmmm, the Detonator's are looking like the next bomb squad. READY TO BLOW!"

                                               ---------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Backstabbing and Babysitting

                                                  ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Frankie's DR_ : "I have a 3 part plan that I like to call 'Protect The Baby.' Step one- discredit Jocasta and make her look like a shit-stirrer who's trying to start an alliance on the other side of the house. Step two- remind the 'alliance' that we can't get rid of one of our own. Step three- keep Zach _calm_. Something tells me that I'm in for a lot of _babysitting_ these next couple of days!"

                                                 ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Zach pulled Frankie into the storage cabinet under the pretense that he couldn't find any of the 'good' baby food (peaches and peas were his favorite), but he really missed Frankie. They had been trying to avoid spending more time together than necessary during the days leading up to the eviction.

"Frankie, I'm going fucking _crazy_. If I have to listen to Cody lie out of his fucking ass one more time as he promises that he's keeping me then I'm going to smother him with my pink hat so help me! I want to call him out on his BS and watch him explain why he back stabbed me and lied to my face and-"

Frankie pulled him into a hug, and Zach breathed a sigh of relief as he pressed his face into Frankie's shoulder. Frankie rubbed his back soothingly as he kissed him on the top of his forehead before pulling back to look Zach in the eyes.

"Zach. _Baby_. I need you to listen to me. Take a deep breathe and listen because what I'm about to say is important. Do you want to win the money? Yes, of course you do. Do you want to play the game with me? _Yes, Rose!_ Then you need to calm down and not do anything irrational. I told you the truth so you would trust me- not so that you would blow up on Cody and become a Devin 2.0!"

"I know, Frankie. I know! I just miss you so much, and I don't want to be with anyone else right now. Everyone's a fucking liar, and it's making me sick talking to them. I just want to cuddle with you and-"

Frankie leaned really close, and, for half a second, Zach thought he was going to kiss him on the mouth. Zach's heart skipped a beat, but Frankie kissed him firmly on the cheek. Zach giggled as the tension left his body. It was strange how dependent he was becoming on Frankie's touches, and he felt irritated if they went long without hugging or kissing or cuddling.

"Do you trust me?"

"More than anyone else. Maybe I'm wrong, but I trust you with my fucking big brother life. Seriously."

"I need you to be nice. Be _calm_. Play some pool with Cody and Caleb. I want you to remind them, Caleb especially, how you're a number for them. I want you to look docile and kind and dependent and remind them why they _LOVE_ Zach attack. More than anything, stroke Caleb's ego and tell him -I don't know- how a _MAN_ would always be _LOYAL_ to his alliance. Do you understand?," Frankie spoke firmly, and his hands rubbed Zach's sides. Zach nodded along and wondered if Frankie would kiss him again.

"Got it: calm, reliable, stoke Caleb's ego," Zach grabbed Frankie's hand as he turned to leave and whispered, "Frankie- I trust that you've got this and I don't need to freak out. Okay? I believe in you."

"Good, because no one fucks with Zankie."

 

                                                  ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Caleb's DR_ : "BEAST MODE is all about the Bomb Squad. It's ride or die where I come from. So I'm not sure that sending my boy, Zach, is the way we want to go. At the end of the day, he's a number for us. I told Derrick that, and it looks like good ol' Caleb has SAVED the day."

                                                  ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

"...So when you walk into that diary room! Vote for Jocasta!" Zach delivered his infamous poem, still garbed in his blue snuggie, and he smiled as everyone tried to suppress their laughter. He wasn't worried because he knew that Frankie had been planting seeds about Jocasta, and he had spent most of the week sleeping and not causing any trouble.

The votes came in, and he breathed as sigh of relief because he was safe for another week much to Nicole and Hyden's surprise.

Caleb won the double evict HOH, and Hayden was voted out. Not before he pinned the blame on Frankie, and Zach pretended that he was shocked by the information. Nicole continued to blame Frankie instead of the real enemies- Cody and Derrick- but Zach took this as a chance to throw everyone off.

It was the perfect opportunity to make the house think that Zankie were not as tight as they really were.

"What's going on Frankie?" Zach exploded in front of the house, "You've been fucking plotting behind my back?!"

"Zach, I can-"

"Don't look at me! Don't talk to me! You're a liar!" Zach screamed, and everyone stood around awkwardly in the kitchen watching them. He stormed off, knocking over a stack of pans, and slamming the door to the Have-Not room.

Donny was a Have-Not, and he was alreadys getting ready to sleep. Nicole, who had been named a Have-Not, slunk in. Like they had planned,Frankie came into the dark room twenty minutes later with a jar of baby food in hand- his alibi- and slipped into Zach's bed.

Then they were rolling around- giddy at the thought that they had just tricked everyone- and Zach was giggling and pressing kisses into the crook of Frankie's kneck. Zachs figured that no one would be watching the feeds, and he let himself enjoy the feeling of Frankie pinning him down.

"That was staged, right? That wasn't real? You two are still trying to slice and lovin' eachother?" Donny's voice cut through the darkness, and Zach felt Frankie stiffen on top of him. They had underestimated how long it would take for Donny to fall asleep.

Donny sat up: "Listen, I ain't mad. I'm alone. Zach was a _minute_ away from being evicted. Frankie, trust me, when it comes to the end Cody and Derrick ain't gonna want to take someone as good as competitions as you are with them. Nicole's just lost her strongest ally. This could- we should form something here."

 

                                                         ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Donny's DR_ : "Finally! I've been looking for a crack in them alliance for weeks now. Honestly, I want to work with these guys. Frankie is Team America and Zach and Nicole are my two favorites in the house with Hayden and Jocasta gone. Looks like things may be looking up for this old boy!"

                                                          ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

"I- I think that's a good idea? Frankie?" Zach replied after a moment of silence, and Frankie leaned down until their foreheads were touching.

"They tried to get rid of Zach. They told me it was good for my game and that Zach was using my feelings against me. Fuck them: Cody and Derrick and Christine. No one touches my baby," Frankie growled, and Zach could feel his cheeks growing warm at the possessive tone, "What kind of alliance does that? The detonators can suck it."

Nicole, spoke up, "Wait! So, you, Zach, Cody, Derrick, and C-christine were all in an alliance? The De-detonators? Those liars! Cody, Derrick, and me made a deal. We even named it- the Rationale! I feel so betrayed right now. And how could Christine choose the boys side over me and Hayden? We were actually going to take her to the end. What a-a-a-"

"A fruit loop?" Zach said, and Frankie laughed on top of him, "Key word is _were_. As in, past tense."

Zach pulled Frankie down until they were laying chest to chest in the dark. Frankie was gripping him like he never wanted to let go, and Zach could have fallen asleep like this. He felt loved and protected, and Zach was sure that they were toeing the line between friendship and something more.

Donny sounded excited, "This our chance! There needs to be another side of the house. I've been trying to hint to y'all for weeks that Derrick has this place under lock. I didn't come here to sulk and loose 500k. What do you say?"

"I'm in," Nicole said, but she sounded distressed.

"I'm in," Zach said eager to start something new.

"I'm in...We'll call it 'Operation Protect the Baby,'" Frankie said before burying his head into Zach's neck and kissing him until he whispered _Frannnkkkiee_.

"Team PTB?" Donny affirmed, and they all put their hands in the middle.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Nicole's DR_ : "I don't know what's going _oonnnn_. I can't trust Cody and Derrick anymore because they flipped the votes.And Christine has been working with the boys for _weeksss_. What's _happening_??? Zach and Frankie and Donny are now saying that they want to work with me and that I'm up against a strong boys alliance. I trust Donny and Frankie's a beast and Zach...well, I need allies right? It looks like Team PTB is the way to go."

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Donny and Nicole had gone to sleep long ago, but the camera's were always awake. Zach hoped that the camera's couldn't see the love pouring out of his soul as he stared at Frankie. Could they zoom in and focus on the way his pupil's were dilated? Could they make out how tenderly Frankie was looking back at him? 

"You don't think they would show these...uh, they would only show stuff that's relevant to the game, right?" Zach asked as his traitorous hands wandered over Frankie's backside. Frankie gasped softly, and Zach wondered how much of their needy noises the microphones could pick up.

"...Yah. Of course," Frankie didn't sound so sure as he turned around to glare at the camera on the wall, and Zach's hands retreated as he pulled the covers over them. Frankie was cuddled close to him, warm breathe tickling his ear, and when they kissed, on the lips, it felt natural. Zach didn't want to think about what them hiding under the covers would look like. He was having trouble keeping himself 'straight' with Frankie.

"I love you, baby. Team PTB will show them they messed with the wrong, uh, showmance," Frankie's hands wandered as he spoke, and they brushed against Zach's sensitive area. Zach took Frankie's hands and pulled them lower until they cupped around him, and Frankie rubbed his semi through his snuggie. This was serious- there wasn't any way he could 'no homo' out of this one.

"So tell me about Florida, Zach...what's it like _down_ there? I hear it's hot all year round. Must be so hard," Frankie kept rubbing him through the soft material, making circles with his hands and teasing fingers, and Zach tried to keep his voice level.

"Yah, it's hard. But it's great to play golf, Frankie. Y-you know I love to go out the golf fields, and, oh, hang out with my bro. Maybe I'll take you down there too. You'd like it- F-Frankie."

"Would I like it, Zach? It seems you do," Zach hoped the camera's couldn't see him writhing, and the way that his eyes were sealed shut and his tongue protruding as he tried to keep his groans quite, "You could come to New York. I know you'd like to come for me, baby. Do you think you'd like that?" Frankie had replaced his fingers for his knee, and Zach rubbed himself against it. The movement would be obvious, but he was too far gone to care how suspicious this would look.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Zach's DR_ : "Me and Frankie have an amazing relationship! He's my best friend and IF I was gay then he would be my man. With the baby costume thing the lines are becoming a LITTLE blurred. I assure you- Mom, Dad, America- hands do not wander!" 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

There was something erotic about how he was pressing desperately against Frankie's leg, and there was a hand rubbing his lower back in a way that made him bite his lip to hide a groan.

"Don't worry, Zach, I would buy you a ticket. You can come to New York, baby. Don't worry," Frankie commanded, and Zach gripped him. 

"Oh, yes. Oh, god, please. I want to c-come- so badly," Zach felt dirty as he came in his underwear humping Frankie's leg. But, fuck, did it feel so good when Frankie held him and called him baby and kissed his neck even though he now had to sleep all sticky. 

"You'd like, New York." Frankie reassured him, and Zach could feel that Frankie was also hard against him, but Zach didn't know if he wanted to try and touch him with the camera's. Zach was afraid that if he did it then it would mean he was 100% homo, and he didn't want to deal with that thought right now.

"I wanna travel the world with you, Frankie. Anywhere. I want to come with you anywhere. No, _everywhere_."

"Okay, we can have everywhere, baby," Frankie didn't force Zach to touch him but seemed content to wait until it went away. 

Zach went to sleep feeling the strangest mixture of relief, confusion, desire, and sadness. Would they really have everywhere or could this type of relationship only exist here?

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Derrick's DR_ : "Now, usually the house is threatened by players who have a tight emotional bond- like Zach and Frankie. Especially with their weird Daddy-baby thing those two have going on. But,due to the nature of their relationship, those two are volatile. They will turn against eachother with little persuasion. I'm not _too_ worried."

\---------------------------------------------------------------


	3. Double Evictions and Double Talk

It's been a day since Christine was evicted. She was on the block next to Victoria but, somehow, she was the one sent packing. She left and was greeted by some clapping but mostly an uncomfortable amount of booing.

The 'boo's put Zach on edge. It was easy to forget that the camera's were there, but Zach was hypersensitive to them. Even though Frankie had won HOH, Zach was hesitant to sleep over.

"Awww...production took away you baby snuggie...I liked it," Frankie said as Zach shuffled into the HOH room. Zach's punishment was over but instead of feeling relieved he was sad. Except he couldn't tell Frankie that. How do you tell your best friend you want them to hold you and love you and feed you and baby you?

"Whatever," he shrugged as the camera zoomed in on his face, "At least you're HOH, and I'm not a Have-not. And Christine's gone...god, I couldn't stand her laugh and the way she was all over Cody all the time. Now, Team PTB has the power in the house- who do we want gone?"

Zach settled on the bed, making sure to leave space between him and Frankie, and listened as Frankie decided, "We have to get rid of Derrick. I'm being realistic here. He's too good at this game, and he's never been on the block. He's friends with fucking everybody, and, worse, he tried to take you from me!"

"Backdoor?"

"No, if you fuck with Zankie then you get fucked. We'll tell him he's a pawn and stab him in the front," Frankie growled, and Zach had never been so attracted to anyone in his life. He was aware of the foot of space between them, but he was too anxious from the 'boo'ing to crawl closer. Between them was the judgement of his old frat friend's, mother, brother, and his own internalized shame.

It had been simple to let himself enjoy Frankie affection without any implications when he had still been dressed in the baby costume but now he was wearing khaki pants and a t-shirt. Now, Zach couldn't lean into Frankie's touches without tinges of guilt.

"Zach," Frankie got up to do his sleepy  exercises, "You can still be my baby if you want."

Zach nodded, mesmerized by the sight of Frankie's tight shirt riding up as he stretched his hands over his head. Zach wished that he could stay here for the rest of his life and not deal with the outside world. He wanted nothing more than to be safe in the bird's nest and be at the top of the house with Frankie at his side. There was nowhere in the world he would rather be than here.

"I love- I like watching you do that for some reason. It relaxes me," Zach stuttered out without thinking, and, in the back of mind, he wondered how many people were watching the feeds at this time. There couldn't be that many people watching at this early of an hour- right? The lines between reality and game were becoming blurred, as Zach cuddled around Frankie that night, and the 'boo'ing kept echoing in his head.

 

                                                                        ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Frankie's DR:_  "Derrick! You're supposed to be part of the Detonators and Team America. So why are you protecting Victoria, evicting Christine, gunning for Donny of all people, and coming for Zach? You come into MY Big Brother House and threaten MY baby? Well, Derrick, it looks like you're finally going to learn what the block feels like. Oh, and have no fear- pawns  _always_  go home!"

                                                                        ---------------------------------------------------------------

They assured Derrick all week that they would all vote for Cody to go home (in case Derrick won the POV), but, as soon as shiny veto was hung on Donny's neck, they dropped the act. When Derrick asked Frankie if he was safe, Frankie gave him a tight smile and told him that plans sometimes change. Then Derrick started to scramble, but the trap was already in place. Unknowing of Team PTB, Derrick tried to get Cody to poison Nicole against them, but she reported this back to the alliance. They knew Derrick had to leave.

"In a vote of three to two...Derrick you have been evicted from a Big Brother House," Julie Chen announced, and Caleb and Victoria's mouth dropped. Victoria started bawling, cling onto Derrick's arm, and Derrick looked peeved at being evicted.

"Well, if I'm going to jury house then I might as well say this. Frankie's a liar and can't be trusted, and he and Zach are closer than you think," Derrick announced, pulling Victoria off of him, and dramatically existing the house. 

"Tonight is a double eviction so House guest's get ready!"

Zach pulled Frankie into the storage closet, unable to stop jumping, and they hugged tightly. God, Frankie smelled and felt so good, Zach thought. He knew that anything could happen with this Double Evict especially with those closing words from Derrick that would motivate Caleb and Cody to target the two of them. They pressed their forehead's together, and Zach wondered what the two of them would look like to an outside perspective. Did they look like two best friends? Or two...more than friends? 

 

                                                                        ---------------------------------------------------------------

 _Nicole's DR_ : "This alliance is working out  _sooo_  good. We just got Derrick and Cody evicted! Like, who would of thought we would goo from the bottom of the house alll the way to the top? Now that it's getting closer to the end I'm kinda worried about Zach and Frankie. Those two are...tight. Do they ever even sleep apart? And would they be willing to cut each other? Like, is anyone going to take me to the end? Right now, I think my best hope is to take Victoria and Donny."

                                                                        ---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Zach is so horny that he can't bare it. He's hyped from the double eviction, and he can't stop touching Frankie. Caleb is glaring at both of them, fuming with betrayal, and it just make Zach feel even more horny like he had just outplayed the best. Frankie's face after the double evict had been so hard not to kiss. God, Zach could literally feel his heterosexual identity evaporating with every heated look that he sent Frankie, and he was growing harder by the minute.

"Zach, are you okay? You look flushed. Do you want me to get you some water or any pills, baby? Is there anything that I can do to help you?"

"Yes, Frankie. You can help me by giving my your expert opinion. I have this, um, problem, and I need you to take a look at it," Zach was trying to be discrete, but he felt drunk off of adrenaline as he readjusted himself in his khaki pants. Frankie was giving him a strange look, but he didn't protest when Zach dragged him into the bathroom.

"What kind of problem? Maybe you should go to the DR and ask them for some meds," Frankie continued as if he actually believed in his lie, but Zach could tell by his half hooded eyes that he knew where this was going. Zach pulled him into the bathroom stall and locked the door. 

Their microphones were still on, but Zach had played this game of double talk before. 

"I want you to tell me if this looks bad. It hurts a little," Zach said as he guided Frankie's hand to his straining erection. Frankie, already taking control of the situation, pushed him against the wall and squeezed him through the fabric. Zach stifled his moan as Frankie's fingers fondled him.

 

                                                                           ---------------------------------------------------------------

_Zach's DR_ : "I am  _straight_ . Frankie is my best, best, best friend and he is so funny. Like, I don't even know comedians that are as funny as he is. Like no one makes me laugh as hard as he does. I've been laughing every single day that Frankie's been here and that's more than I've laughed my entire life. I would want to see him when I leave this house because he's...wait, what was the question? I forgot what it was? Did I answer it?"

                                                                           ---------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmmm? Oh, it doesn't look too bad, baby. Nothing a little bit of pressure and attention won't fix. Let me get a better look- I can't see the injury with your pants in the way," Frankie explained as he unzipped him and wrapped his fingers around Zach. Zach hid his face in Frankie's shoulder, trying so hard to keep his breathing steady, and let him take care of him. 

 Zach's was so close, his hands desperately clutching at Frankie's back, when Caleb knocked on the bathroom door.

"Can you two hurry it up?? Beastmode has to go, and when beastmode needs to go. He needs to go!" Caleb yelled and Frankie softly stroked the tip the head of Zach's dick. Zach was shaking and Caleb was pounding on the door and they still had their microphones on. Frankie kissed him on the neck, his hand slowly stroking Zach, and that sent him over the edge. 

"Oh my  _god_! Fuck!" Zach yelled as his back arched and he came all over Frankie hand. Frankie wiped the cum from his hands onto the inside of Zach's undies, pulled up Zach's pants, and straightened Zach's clothing. 

Zach stumbled out of the bathroom trying to walk like he hadn't just received the best hand job of his life, and Caleb pushed past them into the stall. 

"Feeling better, baby?" Frankie teased, and Zach prayed to god that no one was awake at four am in the morning.

"I always feel good...when you're here."

 

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 _Caleb's DR_ : "I ain't saying nothing about no one. All's I want to say is that I heard  _NOISES_  in that bathroom. And they came out sweaty. America, connect the dots any way you want. Zach, BOY, get it together because there ain't no $500,000 in that bathroom with Frankie. What kind of game are you two playing?"

                                                                        ---------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm...do you think anyone heard them at four am? Zach's defiantly playing games...but not with Big Brother ;)
> 
> Comment if you liked this/want to read more!


	4. Problems and Pacifiers

The house was suspicious of them.

Donny made offhand comments that made Frankie bristle, and Caleb kept asking Zach what Frankie was helping Zach with in the bathroom ("Um...just this thing. No, I can't show you! It's personal. Caleb, will you please, please,please, PLEASE shut up and get off my back?"). Nicole had taken to referring to them as boyfriends. Only Victoria was oblivious. Then again, Victoria still hadn't realized that she was playing a game for money and kept crying for Derrick to come back.

Frankie had decided that the best thing to do to avoid suspicion was to play it off like their "relationship" was a joke, and he had instructed Zach to spend more of his time either sleeping or interacting with the other house guests. And Zach KNEW that it was reasonable. He KNEW that if he was trying to keep his final two deal with Frankie any sort of secret then he should keep his mouth shut.

So why did Zach feel betrayed as he sat playing another game of Jenga with Victoria for the 10,000th time that night, as Frankie lay snuggled against Caleb on the coach? Why couldn't he pay attention to anything Victoria was saying? If this was just a game then why did he feel so abandoned? 

"So nothing happened between you and Zachary?"

"Oh, god, NO. We're just friends. I flirt with everyone that way...it's just how I am, Caleb. You have to understand that I treat Zach no different then I did you or Cody," Frankie reassured Caleb, and Zach felt his fist tighten as Frankie playfully draped a hand over Caleb and snuggled closer to his chest. He watched, from the corner of his eye, as Caleb's hand settled on the curve of Frankie's hip. 

"But how come last night the two of you were all sweaty and Zach was adjusting his-"

"Caleb, have I ever told you what a great body you have?" Frankie lightly touched Caleb's abdomen and batted his lashes, "God, you're so HOT. It's like I just can't get enough of you, you know?"

Zach wanted to throw up. He pulled out a block and the Jenga tower wobbled precariously. There wasn't much holding up the tower anymore, and Zach knew that at any moment it was all going to come crashing down. He tried to refocus on the game and Victoria's voice (But what did Derrick ever do to all of you? Huh, why did he have to go?) (It was just better for our game. You can't take everything personally or else you'll go crazy in here, Vicky).

"I guess your right, Frankie. I mustta gotten it all wrong that night and imagined I saw something else then I did. It's just, as the HOH, you gotta know every angle," Caleb decided and Frankie practically purred in approval.

"Duh, Beastmode. I mean it's kinda funny when you think about it- why would I go for Zach when I have YOU?"

The block tower fell and Zach was too tired to even scream Jenga. It all seemed so pointless.

Frankie was trying to win the game, but this separation was forcing Zach to think about reality. In the outside world, a boy like Frankie would never touch someone like Zach nor would Zach have ever have approached someone like Frankie. Outside this house, would they even talk? Would Zach be able to come clean to his friends and family about all these (ugh) uncertain feelings he had for Frankie? Would he even be able to admit the extent of his desires _for_ Frankie _to_ Frankie?

"- Zach! Zach, are you okay? You didn't respond to my question?" Frankie leaned down to touch his shoulder, and Zach jerked away from Frankie's hand. Caleb was watching them and Victoria was saying something and there were camera's all around them. There was no place here to try and talk about his feelings or what they mean't or what they Were.

"Yah, yah, I'm fine. All that fucking slop is getting to my head and the nomination ceremony is tomorrow and- and I need to sleep."

 

                                                            --------------------------------------------------------------------

Zach: "I'm going insane. The plan is to stay away from Frankie so as to not let anyone know about our final two deal, but I don't want to do this anymore! I'm _done_ with this fucking plan and I'm _done_ with this fucking house! I just want to hang out with Frankie because I don't give a DAMN about these people. How much longer can I play Jenga with Victoria or listen to Nicole's annoying voice??? I'm going insane living off of slop and talking about the same things ever day. Why do I have this bad feeling that this isn't going to end well?"

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Zach didn't even want to get out of bed anymore.

Without Frankie as his compass, he felt directionless. He wandered around, mushed his slop around his plate, and didn't talk to anyone. He didn't want to take a cold shower so he was starting to get dirty, and he just felt gross and depressed. Zach meandered around the house, in his seldom waking moments, and tried to remember when this game used to be fun.

He would dream about his and Frankie's nights in the HOH room and the way they had cuddled. But in his dreams he still had his baby snuggie on and Frankie was holding him down and kissing him. Frankie was holding him and whispering that Zach was _his little baby boy._  Zach woke up, cheeks flushed, with Frankie's name on his lips, and he could still see Frankie's face staring down at him in adoration. Zach was fucked.

Zach went to the bathroom, locked the door, leaned against the wall, and touched himself. He felt pathetic stroking himself, panting in the darkness, and wishing that Frankie was there instead. God, what (normal) 23 year old man wanted to be treated like a baby?

He could accept the fact that he liked men because he had often fantasized about having sex with a men before he had entered the big brother house. But no were in his fantasies had Zach ever felt the desire to call another man _daddy_ or be called _baby_. God, those sort of words should only be used in poorly made pornography with blonde chicks in bunny costumes. Zach could pretend that these desires weren't there, but when he came, he was thinking about Frankie holding him down on his lap and spanking him.

He went to feel sleep feeling humiliated and satisfied and, more than anything, terrified by what he wanted. 

Zach couldn't talk to anybody about what he was feeling, and all the suppressed feelings exploded with just one triggering word at the nomination ceremony.

Frankie had been playing up his charade, and Caleb had put up Nicole and Zach on the block. Frankie had hugged Caleb as he had gotten out of his seat, for not putting him up for nomination, and called him _baby_. And, oh god, Zach thought that the world had frozen over and the only thing remaining was the intense heat of anger he had for Frankie in this very moment. Every reasonable thought about games and strategy had evaporated as Zach's face became red.

"You're so fake Frankie! Just evict me because I'm tired of staring at your fake, lying face. That's all you do: lie, lie, and _lie_ ," Zach snapped.

Frankie threw up his hands and just tilted his head as though he didn't know what he was doing, "God, Zach...where is this all coming from? I-I didn't put you on the block- Caleb did- and I don't know why you're screaming and accusing me of-" 

Caleb, staring at the both of them in confusion, had backed off into the kitchen, and the rest of the house guests were gaping at the two of them. Zach knew it was a bad idea to blow up in front of the house after being put up on the block, but he was done with this. Frankie was trying to put his hand out to touch Zach and reassure him, and Zach had the overwhelming desire to lean into the warm touch and snuggle into Frankie's inviting arms. Instead he pushed him away.

"Don't touch me! I've had enough of you and your mind games. You don't think I know what you're doing? You've been doing it to Caleb and- and cuddling him and calling him baby and I'm done with your strategy. I'm sick of your deception! I'm _sick_ of you!" 

"Zach, the only reason you're even still in the Big Brother House is because of me! Have you forgotten how I saved you and held your hand? I've been protecting you for weeks now!" Frankie snapped, and Zach crossed his arms defensively. There was silence and Caleb awkwardly coughed as he walked across the room to retrieve his hat.

" _Wow_! I guess I should just get on my knees and suck your dick, huh? Would you like that?" 

"Yes, I would. And I have this feeling that you would too..." 

" _Fuck you!_ " Zach screamed, and he felt like crying as Frankie gave him a disappointed stare.

Frankie crossed his arms and stood up to leave the room but not before adding over his shoulder, "And here I thought that you were more mature than that, Zach, but I was wrong. You can't distinguish between what is real and game anymore. I don't even know what part of you is genuine anymore or what I can trust anymore- maybe Derrick was right all those days ago. Who the _fuck_ is Zach Collin Rance?" 

 

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Frankie: "What the Frankie is going on??? Zach is my best friend and closest ally, but how can I trust him when he's blowing up in front of the house...about me calling Caleb... _baby_? Oh god, I'm so confused. I feel like I'm walking around a ticking time bomb, and I can't trust that Zankie isn't just another Bomb Squad. As much as it pains me to say this- I can't take Zach to the end. I love him, but I can't spoon feed him tips on how to play this game anymore! At the end of the day, Team Frankie wills always win over Team PTB or Zankie."

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Zach did the most mature thing he could think of and hid under his covers the next day and kept a bowl of slop with him so he wouldn't have to sneak into the kitchen. After everything that had happened he was sure that he was going home, and he didn't want to see Frankie. Frankie scooted up next to his pile of blankets and started to rub Zach's back. Zach thought about pushing him away, but it felt nice and he was sick and tired of being angry at his best friend.

 "Zach, please tell me why you're mad at me. What's wrong? Things were going so so _so_ good and I thought we could have won this if you had just kept it all under control. Please, baby, talk to me. I want to help you," Frankie soothed, and Zach felt his breathing grow slower as he relaxed into the tender touch. God, he was so weak. 

"I just...when you call me that it's, um, I feel weird."

"What? _Baby_? Zach, please, I'm trying to help you. This can't be the real problem. If you don't want me to call you pet names then I won't, but I want you to tell me why you've been avoiding me and the rest of the house by hiding under your covers. Whatever you _think_ that I did and whatever it is that you _think_ that I lied to you about I want to apologize, ba- oops, sorry. Wow, I hadn't realized how much I say that."

Zach buried his face into the pillow and said, "I like it."

Frankie leaned closer down, "What was that?"

"I like it!" Zach lifted his head and snapped, "I like it when you call me that, okay? And I feel dumb and tired and annoyed and I hate slop and I hate cold showers and I miss you. Okay? Whatever, you can make fun of me all you want."

Frankie giggled and leaned down until their foreheads were pressed together, "I _like_ to call you that, silly. Is that really what this is all about? Oh my god, Zach!"

"I know! I'm the biggest fruitloop dingus to ever roam the earth. I screamed at you because," Zach hid his face in the pillow again but Frankie was close enough to hear his muffled muttering, "because you called Caleb your baby."

Frankie looked down at him as though he was the moon and stars and Zach didn't know what he had done to deserve such an adoring look. Frankie was still rubbing his back, fingers curling in his hair, and Zach could feel himself melting under the touch. He closed his eyes and hummed at the feeling.

"God, I love you. I hate how much I love you, but I do. It's weird- I'm in love with you in a weird way," Frankie admitted.

" Are you? Cause I'm in love with you. For sure," Zach said, and he didn't feel embarrassed admitting this because it was the only  thing he knew for certain at this moment. He didn't know why he wanted to call Frankie Daddy or be held down or spanked or any of that freaky shit. But he knew that he loved him.

"A little bit."

"I'm in love you. For sure...does it make me a homosexual if I'm in love with a gay man?"

 

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Donny: "Ain't no one want Zach here- at least on a game level. He's a swell boy, but he ain't no ally. You don't know what's going on inside that durn ol' head of his. All I hear is _moping_  and I found him the other day _screaming_ Frankie's name into a pillow. That can't be healthy. Sorry, bud, but you're going home this week. It's time to put Team PTB to bed because nap time has been _long_ overdue. Unless he manages to win the POV...then who knows what's in store?"

                                                            --------------------------------------------------------------------


	5. Winners and Losers

Zach was covered in water and mud, but he’d never been so happy to have won a POV. He couldn't stand still: rocking back and forth, jumping, and screaming in joy. He turned around to see Frankie cheering for him in the stands, and he gave him the classic ‘Marilyn Face.’ God, Zach was on top of the world or, at least, at the top of the big brother house.

Afterwards, Frankie pulled him into the Have Not room, and they were hugging and jumping and laughing. Together. There was a tension between them as Frankie, panting, rested, his head against Zach’s forehead, and Zach could see that Frankie was holding himself back. Zach forced himself to pull away slightly when he realized how close their lips were from touching, but if the camera’s hadn't been there would he have held back? He could barely think in this moment or keep his hands from gripping Frankie’s wrists.

Frankie stepped closer again: “I thought I had lost you there for a moment. And I convinced myself that it was fine because you were bad for my game...but you’re good for me as a person. Honestly. You’re the one who keeps me happy in this house and without you I couldn't make it. You’re my rock, Zach.”

“ _This_ ” Zach kissed his veto, “changes everything. Now, I can stand back and realize that I've been a little emotional this past week. And, oh god, I’ve said and done a lot of shit that would make you doubt me. I know! I know! No need to raise your eyebrows at me, but I want to put Zankie back together and for us to win this game! I would do anything- for you, for me, for _us_.”

“Of course, rose, don’t fuck with Zankie,” Frankie grinned and pulled Zach in for another hug. Zach wrapped his arms tightly around him, and he didn't want to let go. He felt as though he hadn't won a veto but the game. What could be better than to be safe with his best friend on his side again?

“Whatever made us doubt each other...I don’t want us to have this uneasiness around each other. It’s no fun playing games if I don’t have you with me. What we need to do- what saved us from Derrick- is to tell the truth. No more games or lies, okay, Frankie?”

Frankie bit his lip and looked away.

“What?”

“There’s something I haven’t told you, and I don’t know how it will affect the game. But I needed to tell you this before anyone else, okay? I want our trust in each other to be unbreakable,” Frankie confessed and Zach swallowed. Zach felt his palms get sweaty, and he wondered if Frankie was going to say what he was thinking.

“No matter what it is, Frankie, we are a team. You are my best friend and I want to hang out with you everyday when we get out of here. I could spend the rest of my life following you around and never get bored. Whatever it is you’re going to say won’t change anything. I promise....bro.”

“Okay, here goes. God, I’m so excited because this secret has been tearing me up inside. I can’t be honest with you until you know everything about me... I’m...” _in love with you_  “...a social media mogul!”

“What?” Zach stopped playing with his veto and looked up in confusion. Out of all the things that he had expected to come out of Frankie’s mouth, this wasn't one of them.

“I have, like, a million followers on all my social media accounts combined. I make youtube videos. And- here’s the best part- what’s my full name?”

“Um, Frankie James Micheal Grande Marchione?”

“Yes, Grande...as in the brother of Ariana _Grande_ ,” Frankie explained exuberantly.

Zach blinked, and he vaguely remembered hearing that name in the media before. Frankie was staring at him and grinning like crazy as if he expected Zach to also be excited, and Zach wanted to please Frankie so he said oh! and then OH!

“She was on that Nickelodeon show- Cat and Sam? Wow, Frankie that’s amazing! I mean, honestly, it doesn't really change how I feel about you, but that’s great that she’s your sister. I mean I always knew that you’d be famous so it’s cool to hear people outside of this house see how popular you are,” Zach hugged Frankie again because he was relieved to know that Frankie’s burning ‘secret’ wasn't what he had thought it to be.

“WAIT! Here’s the ‘game-changing’ part so to speak. I’m donating all the money that I earn to charity,” Frankie smiled coyly as Zach felt his heart speed up.

“What the fuck? You’re not allowed to be everything: smart, funny, AND generous. If I was gay then I would be on my knees sucking your dick right now. Honestly, Frankie, anyone who had you would be so blessed. You’re so-” Zach couldn't think of a word so he pulled Frankie back in for another hug.

They were a giggly mess of limbs, and Frankie was kissing his neck so softly that it was unbearable. Zach kept rubbing his hands up and down Frankie’s back, and he had never experienced hugs this intimate with a girl before. With girls, he lost interest after he had cum and the he never came back. With Frankie, he felt an inextricable bond.

There were no more words now as they finished what must have been one of the most tender hugs that Zach had ever experienced just lingering looks and glances that could mean nothing and everything. Zach was spell bound. He had heard people talking about relationships before, but he had never seen the appeal of settling down for one person when there was hundreds of smoke bombs. Now, Zach only had one person on his mind.

“I want to keep this secret for ourselves...but we need to get Caleb’s trust. Caleb wants to be famous SO bad. Just yesterday he was telling me about how everyone will want his autograph when he gets out of here. So we’ll manipulate him into thinking we’re a final three and have him put up Donny for eviction. Then we get rid of Nicole or have Caleb do the deed, but we take Victoria to Final Three because Victoria can’t even tie her shoelaces,” Frankie explained, and Zach nodded along.

“Fuck, it’s a good thing you’re on my side. So fucking smart.”

“Oh, Zachary, flattery will get you everywhere,” Frankie teased as they left the room. Zach, unable to contain what he was feeling, kissed Frankie’s neck again then turned to stare at the camera out of the corner of his eye. God, what did the world think of him?

 

                                                           --------------------------------------------------------------------

Caleb: “Ariana, if you’re watching, I jus’ wanna tell you that I’m watching out for your bro and your...bro’s friend. Don’t worry about a thing! Beastmode is going to take both of them to the end, and only REAL players are gonna DOMINATE. Nicole and Victoria are no match for us as soon as we take out Donny. Ariana, this is a cowboy’s word and ain’t no true cowboy go back on his durn words!”

                                                             ------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After Frankie had told Zach his secret, Zach was no longer afraid of Frankie cuddling with Frankie. Although they hadn't defined their relationship, Zach was certain where Frankie’s trust was.

Now that they were working together and not antagonizing each other, Frankie and Zach easily became a force to be reckoned with. They were like a more functional Brenchel or a lesser Chill Town. Frankie would plant the seeds of distrust, and Zach could stir up shit to cause a distraction. Without Derrick there to make the house one “majority vote,” they were able to split votes in their favor.

Caleb was their unthinking pawn, and the only thing he seemed worried about was what Ariana would think of him and if she would really introduce him to Justin Bieber. Zach would be forced to listen to his long rants about how he would leave the house in a flurry of confetti and then be smothered with female affection. Zach wanted to puke, but he would do anything for Frankie.

For some reason, the house started to go to bed early. Well, “early” by Big Brother standards. At eleven o’clock, there was no one in the kitchen but Frankie and Zach. They were trying to clean up, as the house had descended into a shit-storm, but the silence was loud. As they washed the dishes, Frankie and Zach’s hands touched under the soapy water, and Frankie smirked.

“Look at us, playing house.”

Zach giggled and then mocked in a Marilyn Monroe voice, “If we’re playing house...then can I be the daddy?”

Frankie shook his head firmly and laughed, but he looked as though he was holding his tongue. Zach, curious, tilted, his head and asked him, “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing, it’s just- I keep thinking about you in the baby onsie. It’s fucking _weird_ like I dreamed about you last night, and you were just lying there and....Whatever, like I said, it’s _weird_.”

Zach felt his throat constrict and his mouth felt dry. Could it be that Frankie was as fucked up as he was? Were they both messed up together? He wanted, so badly, to tell Frankie everything that he had dreamed and how, in those dreams, Frankie would whisper that he was _his perfect baby_ before holding him down until he couldn't move. He wanted to tell Frankie that he enjoyed feeling dependent on Frankie and how he wanted to be restrained.

But how could he admit his darkest fantasies when he couldn't even force out the sentence- _“I’m not straight”?_

So Zach just shrugged and giggled, “Yah, that's weird.”

 

                                                                       ------------------------------------------------------------------

[Joint DR]

Zach: “They all know we’re fucking working together- they KNOW we’re a duo- and no one does anything about it! What do you call that? Oh yah- master gameplay!”

Frankie: “Oh, no, rose. You can’t be strategic against these houseguests. That would be like trying to out think a gerbil running around in it’s cage. I can’t take pride in outsmarting Victoria and Caleb it’s almost...cruel.”

Zach: “Yah, you’re right, I shouldn't brag....I feel bad.”

Frankie and Zach: “ _Psych_!”

Zach: “Hah! Like we give two licks about these pack of fruitloops! Suck it and watch me and Frankie take all that sweet, sweet cash and throw it in their faces like confetti. We’re gonna make it raiinnnnn. Winning is the only option anymore because we’re Zankie, _b*ches_!”

                                                                 ------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As the days crept closer to the finale, Zach became more and more aware how twisted things had become in this house. He and Frankie, now that they were no longer attempting to hide the true extent of their bond, became more and more codependent. The house guests that were left, Caleb and Victoria, had become desensitized to their affection.

Caleb walked in as Zach sat on the HOH bed and allowed Frankie to button up his shirt and didn't even do a double take. Victoria didn't even glance up from her alcohol as Frankie bent Zach over the pool table or raise an eyebrow when Zach promised a couple minutes later that they would ‘cuddle all night.’ They would do sexual and domestic things like that all the time, and Zach constantly had to remind himself that normal best friends didn't like to feed each other. Normal BFF’s didn't put out towels for the other one or wait for the other to come into the bed before going to sleep.

Now that the house had started to diminish in number, Frankie and Zach slept in the same bed almost every night. They didn't talk about it. They didn't justify it. They just did cuddled against one another, enjoying the warmth, or caressed each other's backs. Oddly, though they weren't even dating (nor was there any guarantee that they would date outside the house), Zach felt as though they were married. No, not married. Bonded together.

“What’s going to happen after all this over?” Frankie wondered the night before the eviction. Both Caleb and Victoria were on the block, and Zach was going to blindside Caleb. They had discussed it in detail and decided that it was the best way to go about it. But Zach knew that Frankie wasn't talking about Caleb. Zach knew Frankie meant after the game.

After the game was a black void in Zach’s mind. He couldn't even picture the outside world or who he used to be. The Zach that would chill with his friend’s at the bar and try to pick up chicks or the Zach whose only aspiration in life was to get high and play video games was not the same Zach that he was now. The old Zach had imagined a future of working at some office job before marrying a nice jewish girl that his mother had picked out. Now, the future was hazy and uncertain.

“I don’t know...I just. I mean I’m excited to see my mom and my little bro, but I don’t know. What if everyone hates me? I don’t know...what do you think?”

“There’s things I want to happen. Things I hope for and dream of. But who knows- reality can change the reality that we had in here. We’re living in a bubble fear of worries and society. Once we walk out the doors, this illusion that we've created will be popped. What we thought was real in here could be changed by the outside world.”

“I..” Zach struggled to put his voiceless fears into words, “I don’t want some things to change. I feel like I’m going to fall back into my old habits, become a stoner, and fall back into the pattern I left behind. I don’t even know what I’m going to do after this. Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course, baby.”

“I’m terrified.”

Frankie turned around and wrapped his hands around Zach. They lay like that, chest to chest, and Zach was comforted by the feeling of Frankie’s hot skin against him. The air in the room was cold, but sheltered by these blankets, they had created a safe cocoon.

“Zach, you are full of strength. I have seen in you more kindness and love than anyone I have ever met. I’m” in love with you, “so proud. I believe in you. The world will see in you everything that I do.”

 

                                                            ------------------------------------------------------------------

Victoria: “Those two are like evil, crows. You can see them but you don’t know what they’re plotting. I mean they shouldn't send a princess home but...I THINK that they’re going to evict me, but I can’t be sure with those two. Nothing is what it seems with those boys. _Nothing_.”

                                                            ------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Zach thought he was going to throw up. He kept tapping his foot and glancing up at the screen waiting for Julie's face to appear. Frankie squeezed his arm in encouragement before standing up to face the TV.

"I know that taking Victoria would be the easiest way to guarantee my win, but I want to take someone who has stuck by me this whole game. Zach, I could never had met it this far without you. When we made that final two deal on day two, I never imagined that it would last. So, Victoria, without further ado, bye!"

Victoria seemed more concerned with making sure her hair was fixed right before heading to the door and leaving. Zach grinned up at Frankie when they were finally alone, and he could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

Frankie squeezed his hand again as he sat down besides them, and Zach prepared himself for the juror questions.

Cody had the first question, "Zach, how far would you have made it in this game if Frankie didn't hold your hand and spoon feed you information? Name one time when you did more than listen to everything Frankie told you to do!"

The audience burst into hysterics and Zach could feel his ears turning red. He rubbed the back of his neck, "It was a good game move to get Frankie on my side. And, clearly, it worked out for me because Frankie could be used as a big target to shield me."

Cody looked like he wanted to call Zach out on something, but he sat back down. All of Zach's questions continued to be humiliating while Frankie's questions revealed the juror's respect for his game.

Caleb, who had been blindsided and was now bitter, asked: "So, Zach. Was it you game strategy to cuddle with Frankie all summer? Never seen nobody play this game like that."

Once again, the live audience was clapping and hooting as Zach struggled to formulate an answer. Zach was on the defensive: "Okay, beastmode. You knew that we were working together and yet still didn't try to get Frankie out when you could. All you could think about were celebrities and Amber while I had my eyes on the prize."

"And was there a prize hiding under the blankets with Frankie...or maybe in the bathroom?" Caleb grinned as the audience roared with approval. Zach swallowed, fidgeted in his seat, and wished that this was over with. Why was the audience responding like that? How much had they shown on the show? For so long, they had lived in a bubble, but now, Zach could no longer pretend that the outside world did not exist.

Frankie, unable to bear the silence, jumped to Zach's defense, "Seeing as Zach's here and you're sitting out there Caleb, then I'd say Zach's strategy worked out well."

Nicole, who was next, was the first one to really turn on Frankie, "Team Protect the Baby? Huh, so was your whole strategy to make Zach look weak and infantile while you won all the competitions?"

"Of course. I mean, no, I didn't want to make Zach look 'infantile.' I just wanted him to be more non-threatening while I diverted the target to myself and other players. That was the plan Nicole, and I stuck to it until the end."

"Wow, you two are both so dedicated to your roles...how much of that cuddling and mushy baby talk was real and how much strategy? Because, boy, did you two have us all _fooled_!"

Zach saw Frankie stiffen for a moment and knew that he was internally struggling for the right words to explain their bond. Yet, after so long the lines had been blurred and it was difficult to summarize their relationship. How could they separate what was reality and what was fiction? Not even Zach could say.

"I- The game that I played was competitive and it required Zach to be a bit more- what's the word?- submissive. And Zach always did a very good job of doing what was needed of him. He could be a distraction when necessary and blow up on people, but he couldn't be viewed as a threat. Therefore, we played up the whole 'baby' dynamic."

"So it was strategy?"

"Mostly- yes. Like all the best players we made something that was the perfect mixture of fantasy and reality. Our love and friendship is real, but we may have played up some aspects."

Nicole raised an eyebrow but didn't press further.

Finally Julie Chen announced that Frankie was the winner of Big Brother, and they were released into the backyard for interviews. If Zach had thought that the jury member's questions had verged on uncomfortable and invasive than that was nothing compared to the backyard interviews.

A microphone was shoved into Zach's face: "So, Zach, what's going on with you and Frankie?"

"What do you mean? We're best friends and Zankie."

"Okay, but is there something more?"

"No," Zach lied, "I'm 100% straight! That was all gameplay in there. And it worked...right?"

Later that night, Frankie saw him and wrapped himself around Zach and whispered, "We did it, Zach, we _won_."

But Zach, who could feel the judging gaze of his mother, pushed away. The sparkle in Frankie's eyes dimmed for a moment, and Zach felt as though he may have lost more than he had won.


	6. Drunk In Love (but not drunk enough)

Zach didn't sit around all day and pine like some love-sick moron. He was out and free in the real world and no longer confined to the Big Brother house. Zach kept himself busy so there would be no time to think: walking, running, swimming, jogging, and golfing.

Despite his constant motion, Zach didn't feel like he was moving forward. In interviews, he went to a 100% straight narrative because 'gray areas' and 'ambigiuos' were hard to defend. At least he had retired the concept of 'game play,' which he realized was cruel, but he felt like his answers were the same old ones. How many times could he say that he and Frankie were only friends before it sunk in?

The worst part was that Zach didn't really have many people to confide in. His parents weren't people that he felt that he could open up to. His friends were sympathetic but confused on how to broach the subject. His little broiski was too young to understand the complexities and nuances of the situation. Zach had tried to explain it to him one time and Peyton had just stared at him and askied if he was still friends with Frankie. Zach had sighed a yes, rose, of course and Peyton had shrugged and said that other people's opinions weren't that important.

And yet all Zach could see all day were other people's opinions. Every time he opened his twitter or Instagram he saw comments asking when he was going to see Frankie and if he was dating Frankie and why he had said 'so and so' in some interview. It was maddening.

"Bro," Cody said slowly after Zach had finished ranting into the phone, "You're upset because all these people on social media think you're gay? I mean...people all thought me and Christine were having some sort of affair. We moved on. The trolls had no more ammo and basically moved on. If there's nothing betweeen you and Frankie and you're, like, not gay then just go and meet a girl. There are enough that want you."

"Wow, _thanks_ , Calzone! That's so fucking brilliant! Why the hell didn't I think of that before? I should just go and find some random to hook up with and post pictures of her like 'proof' or some bull? How much of a piece of shit do you think I am?" Zach paced his room and screamed into the phone. His parents weren't home so he was free to say what he wanted.

Cody sighed, "Zach, I never said any of that. I said 'meet a girl.' As in go out and try to have fun and stop worrying so much about people's speculations. Fuck, people love to gossip. Twitter is like the Big Brother house 'cause that shit can get blown wayyyy out of proportion. But, honestly, the only way to 'win' against all that is to ignore it and be... _happy_. At the end of the day, bro, it's your life."

Zach knew that this was reasonable advice, and he had already been told that he should 'be himself.' Except everyone had a different idea of who he was. At this point, Zach felt like he was suffering from some sort of multiple personality disorder with all these masks he kept creating. Instead of telling Cody how insecure he really was about his sexuality or that the hate bothered him so much because he wasn't sure he wanted to go out and meet 'a nice girl,' Zach agreed with him.

"Yah, you're right, it's my life. I'm sorry for screaming at you but I've been a little stressed out lately and I haven't been able to really talk to anyone about this without getting so fucking judged. Fuck the haters, I guess?"

"Shine bright like a Frankie," Cody teased and Zach groaned, "Speaking of Frankie when's the last time that the two of you talked?"

Zach flopped onto his bed and tried to keep his voice neutral as he said, "We talked briefly a couple nights ago. Why?"

"No reason- I just heard from Caleb that Frankie's been going on dates with other people. It's kinda weird that he didn't tell you."

Zach had known this was coming, but he had been living in denial for a couple weeks now. Frankie had started to give hints that he wanted to know definitively if their were any feelings, and Zach, of course, had told him that there was an attraction and that he loved Frankie more than anyone he had ever met. Frankie, as always, wasn't mad, but he seemed to be growing more and more tried at the same answer every time. Zach understood that it looked bad telling the interviewers that he was straight and then telling Frankie that they could be something more. It looked like Zach was playing Frankie when that couldn't have been further from the truth.

"Just because people don't know everything dosen't mean that what I feel for you isn't real. It's just people online all think I'm like gay, but I'm not. I'm just...not totally straight," Zach had explained last week, and Frankie had sighed and rubbed his eyes as he looked at him through facetime.

"Zach, I look like a moron to half my friends who think I'm being strung along by you. I know that it's hard to tell, but I'm 31 years old. I don't have time for these games anymore, and I'm sick and tired of being treated like your dirty little secret. I'm frustrated with the situation. I feel like I have to constantly reassure you my affection and tell you that you're my only baby and then you just go on and tell people you're 'looking for a girlfriend' and that I was the one who was aggressive in the house. Can't you see how I feel, right now?"

"Frankie, why are you being so melodramatic? I was just trying to explain how stressful all this is. And if you can't understand ME then maybe it would be better if we try to see new people!" Zach had snapped not liking where this conversation was going.

"It might help with perspective, Zach, if we see other people. I love you and I'm still in love with you. I know you love me and that your sexuality has gray areas. But this relationship or whatever it is that we're doing can't be gray. I want something real and solid and...it seems from interviews that you're ashamed of what we had. Okay?"

"Okay, fine, whatever," Zach had said in a way that showed that everything was not _okay_ or _fine_ or _whatever_. He hung up.

They hadn't talked anymore about it after that, but Zach had favorited a couple passive aggressive tweets and moped for days afterwards. His mother asked him what was wrong and he shrugged. His broiski asked if he was upset that it was raining and they couldn't go play golf.

No, he didn't pine like some heart broken school girl but he may have replayed the same couple songs over and over again.

\------

So Zach decided to take Cody's advice, and he spent an hour chatting up a girl on Grindr. She was snarky and funny and didn't take shit from him. Zach guessed that she was his type because he managed to stay interested for more than five minutes. He invited her out for drinks, and his mother was overjoyed that he was finally going out.

Zach couldn't be bothered to put on anything nice so he wore a polo and khaki's. He showed up 15 minutes late, and he told her to order her own drinks. She was hot in a generic way, but he told her that her Tindr picture was more attractive and to stop catfishing. Then he got drunk and startled to ramble about Big Brother.

"What the hell is a Big Brother? Sounds like some sorta bad reality show that cat ladies who have recently divorced their husbands watch."

"Um, excusssse me?" Zach slurred, "Lemme tell you abouutt Big Brother. It's a show were you win loadsa cash, like, 'bout half a million. But it's strageticccc. You gotta be smarter than an average fruitloop annddd you have to trick people and form alliances."

"So did you win?"

"Fuck yah! Well, only second place."

"And who won first place?" The girl -Alex? Amy? Ava?- had turned to scroll through her phone, and Zach, even intoxicated, knew that she was only making polite conversation. Still, he was finally talking to someone who didn't know about what he did and who he was. It was liberating.

"Frankie. But he deserveddd it. He's my bestest friend and he's the smartest and funniest person ever, and he's so cool and he's on Broadway and he's the brother of Ariana Grande-"

"Wow! Seriously? I can't believe you know Ariana Grande's brother... sounds like you really liked him," she looked back up, and Zach leaned forward eagerly. He hadn't been able to gush about how much he loved Frankie- not with all the scrutiny.

"Oh, he's amazing. God, he talks and I wannna just sit and listen forever and ever and ever. And EVERYTHING he says is funny. Like, you're kinda funny if you try, but EVERYTHING Frankie says is funny. And he's got these big eyes, oh god...I like that in girls. Oh! And he likes sit when you rub his hand and back before he goes to sleep. Relax's him. I used to do that for him every night. But Imma straight though."

"Wow, literally no one asked that. Look, this date has been fucking awful, but you're hot in a frat-boy-asshole kind of way so I'll still give you a handjob if you want."

Suprisingly, she -Alex? Amy? Ava?- thought that Zach was funny and offered to let him fuck her in the bathroom. Zach thought that was gross and trashy, and he wasn't THAT desperate to get some. Okay, so he was a little desperate. They went in a stall, and she tried to go slow, which made Zach feel uncomfortable. She was jacking him off, but she had bad technique and Zach couldn't get fully erect. It just felt wrong, and he had drank too much and was feeling more nausous than horny.  
"Wow, you give the crappiest hand jobs," Zach commented to save himself the humiliation of requesting her to stop, and she gave him the middle finger. 

"Fuck you, Zachary. I felt fucking bad for you...but you know what go home and jack off to pictures of that _Frank_ boy. Maybe that'll do it for you."

"Yah??? Well, Frankie has better technique then you!" Zach screamed after her as she grabbed her purse and stormed off. He zipped up his pants and realized he didn't have enough money to get a taxi. Zach leaned against the wall, collapsed, and wondered how he had gotten to this point.

He took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his twitter dashboard. Since Zach was a machochist, he clicked on a Zankie blog and looked at the pictures. God, he stared at the gifs and thought he should drink some more. He hadn't watched any episodes from the season, but the sight of him and Frankie curled up was enough to make him laugh at how pathetic he was.

Zach laughed until he cried and then he laughed some more. He was a hysterical mess collapsed in a dirty bathroom stall in some bar at 11:45 pm after refusing a hand job from a smoke bomb. So he did the only thing that seemed reasonable and called Frankie. He stared at the 'calling' sign and wondered if Frankie would even pick up.

"Zach?" He could hear Frankie's voice sounded groggy, and he realized that he had woken him up from sleeping.

"Frankie, thank god! I thought you weren't going to pick up the phone. I'm sorry- I just- I just was thinking about you. I took your advice and I went on a dumb date, and I hated it. I don't want some random girl. I- I jus' wanted to say that I love you and I'm sorry and, oh god, I miss you and-"

"Zach, did you really drunk dial me? Fuck, that shouldn't be so endearing. Oh, baby, what am I going to do with you?" Frankie's voice was soft and soothing, and Zach felt instantly better. All the anxiety from before was gone, and he wouldn't mind spending the rest of the night in this god forsaken stall if he could listen to Frankie.

"Mhm, not that drunk...It would make me happy if you could stay on the phone with me," Zach giggled and, oh god, how could he go from total douche to a love struck puppy in the span that it took for Frankie to call him baby? Maybe he was fucked up, but Zach didn't care as long as he could be fucked up with Frankie.

"What's wrong, sweetie? What's troubling you on this tuesday night? I'm sure all my worldy knowledge can aid you in this moment of crisis. Maybe. Maybe not."

"Thankss for listening...I've realized...real life sucks. I miss Big Brother. Not being a havenot or cold showers or the paranoia or any of that shit. No, I just miss us. You said we would be Zankie inside and outside the house, but I feel so alone," Zach confessed, "I won the money and my family loves me and my broisiki thinks I'm cool and I'm semi-famous on social media. I got everything I wanted. So why am I miserable?

"Zach, I don't have an answer, but I can tell you that you're going to have do a lot more soul searching to find love then hitting up the first chick to reply to your messages on Tindr."

He must have been more unstable then he realized because he started to cry again. The bar owner walked in, told him they were closing up, and asked him to leave. So Zach stumbled into the brisk night.

The cold air sobered Zach, "Frankie, it's dark. I can't get a taxi and it's a mile home. Can you stay on the line? You don't need to say anything; it's enough to know that you're there and listening. I just wanted to apologize for everything. I'm sorry that I'm such a mess. I'm sorry that I can't be everything that you wanted me to be."

"Don't you think I'm also sorry? Sorry that love wasn't enough to keep us together."

"Why wasn't it enough? Why weren't you happy, Frankie? I thought that this was true love...I thought that this was it," Zach was getting closer, and he could see the glow of his house up ahead. Yet, he couldn't stand the idea of Frankie leaving him again.

"I'm sorry, Zach. This can't be love without the truth."

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am I so depressing lately? Seriously , all my fanfics are just becoming sad :( Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings onto these two. Zankie deserves better...
> 
> I promise next chapter things will be MUCH happier!!!
> 
> Comment if you liked this/want more :)


	7. Come undone and then cum

Frankie had told him that it couldn't be love without the truth. But Zach had realized that there was no such thing as truth- there was only perception.

Some people perceived him to be straight. Some perceived him to be gay. Zach was somewhere in between, and so he had the choice of how to present himself on social media. He wasn't identifying as straight because it was the truth, nor was he lying to the world, he was only letting his fans perceive a certain part of himself.

“Zach,” Cody had listened to him ramble for twenty minutes now, “What the hell are you talking about? Perception? Truth? Reality? These are just a bunch of fancy words that make up a fuckload of _nothing_.”

“No, Cody, I’m trying to be precise for once in my godforsaken life. I’m not lying per say...just allowing people to draw different conclusions. Frankie said-”

“Dude, I swear to god, I’m going to hang up and you can go call Frankie again and try to sort out this shit. Maybe you two can have a nice conversation about reality and perception. Or just untwist your panties and wait for this weekend when we’ll see him at Rock Of Ages, okay? I promise you that you're over complicating it all.”

Cody hung up and Zach sullenly stared at his phone. He knew Frankie would have thought his nuances to be interesting, but he was afraid to call Frankie. What if he didn't pickup? What if he was finally sick of Zach? What if Zach interrupted him in the middle of a date?

That was what hurt the most. Zach could protest his sexuality from now until Christmas, but there was no denying that the idea of Frankie seeing other men made his stomach twist and turn. There was denying that the first person he thought of when he heard a love song on the radio was Frankie. There was no denying that when Pizzle did something silly that the first person he wanted to tell was Frankie.

There was no denying that Zach had been in denial for too long.

\------

When Zach saw Frankie again, he wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. There were no complicated thoughts in his head only the dizzing feeling of Frankie's chest pressed closely to him. Frankie kissed his neck, tenderly, and Zach sighed in relief. He had been tense for too long as he strained to hold up the weight of the world. How had Frankie, with only a simple hug, made him feel weightless?

Gravity regained it's grip on him when Frankie let go- too soon Zach thought- and went to hug Cody and Caleb. They had all just seen him perform on Rock of Age's, and Zach was floating.

"You were amazing, Frankie," Zach almost pushed Caleb away as he tried to regain his place under Frankie's arm, "I can't even describe how you did. The audience was going crazy, and I was laughing so hard."

They were attached by the hip after that, and Zach was aware in this moment that he was in love. He laughed, admired, and desired Frankie. There was no other way that he could explain this attraction that still gripped him after so many months. He had tried to run from it, but he couldn't escape from this no matter how desperately he had tried.

Zach had never believed in true love. He beloved in efficiency. It was practical for him to go to college, meet a girl, and settle down. Was it practical for him to move to New York to follow some man that he had only known for three months? Was it practical for him to give up the easy life that he had known in Florida with his parents to try and pursue a relationship that he wasn't sure could work?

Yet, that was what Zach's wanted. If there was really truth in this world and not just perception then Zach knew these feelings to be true. If there was really love and not just lust or efficiency then this is what love felt like.

Late that night, or maybe early the next morning, after the party had settled down, Zach found himself in bed with Frankie. They didn't do anything, tentative to take it too far, but Zach rubbed Frankie's back. Frankie turned around, kissed Zach on the chest to thank him for the massage, and they finally spoke into the darkness all the words that had been hidden in the daylight.

"Zach, I tried to move on. I did.  I went on a couple dates, but I...I think I may be running away too quickly. These feelings that I have can't be fixed with a rebound or by a couple meaningless hookups. These feelings run deeper than that, but I want to know what the lines are this time. I want to know what’s real and not, Zach. I felt a lot of things in the Big Brother house, and I guess I’m no longer sure how you felt...or _feel_?”

“Frankie, how could you ever question that I love you?” Zach, intimidated by all the direct questions, turned it back onto Frankie. He was glad that it was dark so Frankie couldn’t see the fear in his face or the longing in his eyes. They were separated by nothing, their bare skin against one another, and yet Frankie hesitated to touch Zach. In the house, he hadn’t been afraid to slip his hand between Zach’s thighs, like it meant nothing, but now was not the time to forget their worries with sex.

“I don’t question that you love me. I know that we are inextricably linked, but I don’t know where our friendship ends and our love begins. Our relationship in the house was intimate, but, in the real world, I feel like you shy away from my touch. Or maybe we’re both afraid of crossing the line that was crossed many nights ago. You tell me one thing and then contradict yourself in a minute. I need to know...how far do you want to go?”

“Fuck! I...I know...that I don’t know shit. I can’t put anything I am or feel or want into words because everything is a mess in my mind,” Zach wanted to bury his face in the pillow as he tripped over his words, and he heard Frankie sigh and shift in the bed to face him. A soothing hand cupped Zach’s face, and he smiled despite himself at the feeling.

“I’ll make this easy for you. Are you in love with me?”

“Yes, rose. My heart tells me fuck yes.”

“Are you attracted to me?”

“My lower head tells me yes.”

“Lovely mental image. And do you want to date me?”

Zach paused on the last one, unsure of how to respond, but he couldn't bear to say definitely yes or no. Finally he choked out, “Um, I dunno. That seems like a loaded question, and I can’t say that I would never want to date you. But I don’t know if I could be public about it.”

“I’ll simplify. Would you be okay if I went out tonight and found a random boy at the bar to hook up with? And then that boy became a part of my life, and I would take him to concerts and share my bed with him. He would move in with me, I would snuggle with him and fuck him every night and-”

“Please stop! Oh, god, you’re going to make me cry so fucking bad. No, of course I wouldn't be okay with any of that,” Zach snapped possessively at the thought of the imaginary boy holding Frankie. He leaned onto Frankie’s chest and wrapped his arms around him.

“Think about it. Don’t worry, I won’t pressure you to give me an answer tonight or even tomorrow night. But just know that every night you don’t give me an answer...the closer I am to finding someone who would be proud to share his night’s with me.”

They fell asleep curled up in each other's arms with their limbs intertangled. Where Zach couldn't find the words to make this right, he replaced it with meaningless whispers of comfort. Where Zach couldn't find truth within himself, he held Frankie tightly. He fell asleep wondering if he had created this cage or if society had built it around him. How much was he responsible for this turmoil and how much was it the pressure’s of the world trying to force him into a small box. Either way, Zach couldn't breathe.

\------

In the streets of New York, the troubles of yesterday melted away into a new, gleaming today. Zach was beaming and skipping and making a fool of himself trying to get Frankie to laugh. He jumped up on someone’s steps and started to sing Taylor Swift’s ‘Welcome To New York.’ Frankie climbed up with him to join in his joy, and he winked at Zach as he sang ‘ _and you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls_.’

They had lunch together at a cafe, and it felt natural and casual. They didn't talk much about Big Brother, but instead about Frankie’s Broadway career, and Ariana’s success, and  Zach told him about his charity for the twins. The talk stopped abruptly at mentions of the future, and Zach suggested they go find dessert.

Frankie showed him his favorite ice cream shop, and Frankie bought them a huge sundae, which he covered in rainbow sprinkles and chocolate. Zach noticed that they had been only given one spoon, but he decided not to make a big deal out of it. Or maybe he had wanted Frankie to feed him, and his fucked up subconscious had made him silent. Frankie, noticing there was only one spoon, rose to go ask for another, but Zach grabbed his wrist. They shared a silent look and Frankie sat back down.

Frankie’s eyes gleamed as his gaze flickered between the spoon and Zach’s lips. They had a private seat, in a booth at the back of the ice cream shop, so there was no one here to witness this.

“Zach, we talked about some things last night. But not all of them. There were some things that we did and said in the Big Brother house that I wasn't even sure if I understood....” Frankie trailed off as if hoping that Zach would jump in. He bit his lip in mortification and stared at his nails.

“What things? There were a lot of things,”

“Where you wanted me to call you baby? And you told me that you didn't want me to call Caleb or anyone else that? How much of that was...real?”

Zach groaned and his burning cheeks in his hands hoping that they could end this conversation, “Oh god, they aired that shit. My mom and brother and dad watched it, and they all told me that it was uncomfortable to witness. Then my mom asked me if she hadn't loved me enough and that was why I wanted to be babied...Anyways, now all my fucking friends tease me and text me ‘bby’ like it’s the funniest thing ever. And what am I supposed to say to them all? I literally want to block anyone who tweets or dms me using the phrase ‘good boy,’ but then I would need to just delete my twitter.”

Frankie picked up the spoon and licked the white ice cream off with a gentle stroke of his tongue: “Zach, you avoided my question.”

“You know the answer, Frankie. You felt how quickly I hardened when you stroked me through that onesie. How loudly I moaned when you called me baby. How fast I came undone and in your hands. Don’t make me say the words.”

Zach watched as Frankie continued to lick the spoon clean, sucking at the metal and staring at him with half hooded eyes, and he wasn't sure if he was more turned on are embarrassed at how corny they both were.  

“I want to hear you say it.”

Zach swallowed, “That was real, Frankie. Too real. That’s why I panicked at first and told the interviewers it was game play. I’m not sure what this means, but I know I want to explore this side of myself with you.

Frankie grinned and leaned over the table to peck him on the lips. Zach could taste the sweet ice cream, and he smiled at how much lighter he felt now that he had admitted the truth. Frankie wasn't running away or screaming that Zach was a freak.

Frankie scooped up more ice cream, and Zach obediently opened his mouth. It was like they were back in the HOH room, with no one to disturb them, and lost in their own world. Frankie murmured in approval when he covered the spoon with his mouth, and Zach felt the blood from his cheeks move lower.

Frankie smiled, opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated.

“What is it?”

“Oh, god, I can’t say this. You’re going to think I’m weird and never speak to me again-”

“Doubt it.”

“Okay. I like...I like when you do what I say.  In the Big Brother house I would tell you to go tell Caleb something, and you would do it without question. So I would give you orders just to see how far you would go for my approval. Then when you were wearing that onsie I liked the idea that you needed me. I used to pretend you wouldn't be able to even come unless I told you to do so. Please, don’t laugh at how fucked up I am,” Frankie confessed. Zach felt overheated, and he pulled at his jeans. This was too intimate a conversation to have in an ice cream shop.

He held Frankie’s gaze and said firmly, “We’re fucked up together because I like it when you hold me down and tell me what to do. I want to be yours- I promise.”

\------

They had experimented a little after their conversation in the ice cream shop. Oddly, some of their desires weren't even directly sexual. Zach told Frankie that he wanted to have Frankie pick out his clothes and button up his shirt in the mornings, which Frankie was happy to do. Frankie wanted to tuck Zach into bed, kiss him, and tell him a bedtime story. Zach liked that.

Alot of their desires were sexual though. Frankie would start to tell him a sweet bedtime story, but then his fingers slipped into the waistband of Zach’s underwear. Zach, desperate to be touched after so long, was already semi erect in his underwear. Then Frankie would kiss him tenderly on the neck.

“You like that, baby? I told you to go to sleep, but you seem to be excited. Do you want me to help you?” Frankie teased him as he wrapped his hands around Zach’s cock. Zach whimpered and, even though he no longer had to muffle all the noises that he made, tried to hide his face in the pillow. But Frankie wouldn't let him.

“I want you to hear you beg for me, baby. Beg for me to touch you. Beg until you start to come undone, and your cock is painfully hard. Beg until I tell you that you’re _allowed_ to cum. Can you do that for me, Zach?” Frankie playfully tugged at his hair, and Zach gasped out a yes. At this rate, with Frankie’s breathe against his ear and his erection against his leg, Zach wasn't going to last for more than a couple minutes.

“Fuck, don’t say shit like that or I’m gonna come. I think I’m already starting to leak, and you haven’t even moved your fingers. S-shit, oh god, it feels so good, Frankie, please. _Moremoremoremore_ ,” Zach gasped as Frankie gently, ever so gently, rubbed his tip.

“How would you like to feel my fingers inside of you? You would look so beautiful, baby, all red and flushed with my fingers inside you. You would like it so much,” Frankie whispered in his ear as he slowly, ever so slowly, moved his hands down his shaft. Zach, overstimulated, moaned loudly.

“G-god. I want to try that, Frankie, so bad. I need to feel you inside me.” Zach felt warm and safe here in Frankie’s arms. He trusted Frankie to touch him anywhere even if he had been nervous to try penetration.

Frankie slipped his hand out of Zach’s underwear, kissed him on the lips, and grabbed the lube from inside his dresser. Zach kicked off his underwear, and he was naked and flushed in Frankie’s bed. Sex, for them, wasn't the complicated part.

Zach hadn’t even realized how needy he was until Frankie teased his hole with one slick finger. He spread his legs for easy access without having to be asked. _You’re doing so good. Such a good boy. You look so good, Zach, with my finger inside you. I want to make you feel something you’ve never felt before. You’re doing so good. So good._ Frankie praised him and, even though it was uncomfortable for a couple minutes, Zach was starting to get used to the feeling. The words combined with Frankie sucking at his neck made Zach rut into the bed sheets in search of friction. Frankie grabbed his hips, and Zach obediently focused on pushing against Frankie’s fingers.

“ _Oh_!” Zach arched his back in surprise, “W-what was that? Can you do that again?”

Then Frankie, who had two fingers in him, responded by hitting the spot again. Now, Zach was shamelessly fucking himself against Frankie’s hand, and moaning and groaning with no restraint.

“I need to come, Frankie. _Please_. Please- touch me. Oh, god I need you _Frankie_. I need you to take care of me,” Zach said because he knew that Frankie would love it if he worded it like that. Frankie growled in approval and wrapped his hands around Zach’s cock.

“Do you want to come? You took  my fingers so well, baby, I think you deserve this. I’m going to stroke you just three times, and I want you to come on the _third_ time. Can you do that for me?”

Zach moaned yes but came all over Frankie’s sheets on the second stroke.

“Oops,” Zach giggled as Frankie took his fingers out of him and smeared Zach’s cum off from his bed onto Zach’s stomach.

“Are we having trouble counting? And here I thought that math was your strongest subject. Why couldn't you hold until three, baby?”

“It was too much,” Zach defended, but he kissed Frankie again wanting to make sure that he knew how good that had felt. Frankie bit at his lip, and Zach could feel Frankie’s erection straining against his leg. In the Big Brother house, he had never touched Frankie, but now he was curious. He shifted his leg in between Frankie’s legs, but Frankie slapped his thigh.

“You haven’t behaved yourself, Zach. I think a punishment is in order. Lie down on my lap,” Frankie ordered and Zach followed without questioning. He knew that Frankie liked to be in control, and he wanted to give him all the control that he craved.

Frankie played with his butt, feeling its firmness in his hands, and Zach wondered if he could get hard again just from this. But Frankie wasn't doing this for Zach’s pleasure.

“I want you to count to ten, and if you lose count then we’ll start again,” Frankie instructed as he reached down and rubbed his finger over Zach’s still slick hole. Zach, still sensitive from before, whimpered at the gentle teasing. Frankie was building up to it, rubbing Zach’s thighs and telling him that he deserved a _good, hard spanking_ for not listening to directions. Zachs pushed up into the caress, and he had never been spanked before, but there was something so sensual about the thought of Frankie having him bent over his lap and punishing him.

“One...that wasn't that bad. And here I thought that I was being punished,” Zach complained and wiggled his butt at the first, gentle slap. Frankie must have been afraid to start hard, but the next slap stung.

“Two... _Three_...” Now his bottom was starting to tingle pleasurably, and Zach, who had never been able to get hard again after cumming with girls, felt his dick twitch in interest. Frankie was fully erect against him, and Zach liked the thought that he was the reason that Frankie was hard.

“ _Oh_!...Four...Five, S-six...fuck- se- _seven_...” Zach was having trouble speaking as his heart rate sped up. Frankie, who could sense his discomfort, stopped to sensually massage his ass. Zach whimpered as Frankie pressed his mouth to his reddening cheeks and kissed them. How was he almost semi now, just from Frankie’s hands against his ass, and Frankie had managed to not cum yet. Zach flushed as he realized how much of a little virgin he must seem to Frankie who had slept with hundreds of more experienced men. It made him feel incompetent.

“Frankie, I can’t cum twice before yo- you’ve even cum. Do you want me to suck you off? I mean, fuck, I’ve never given head, but I’ll do whatever you tell me,” Zach looked up to see Frankie’s pupils were dilated.

“You’ll already do whatever I tell you. And I want you to lean against the bedpost for the last three spanks. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Like this?” Zach felt exposed as he got on all fours, held the bed post, and spread his legs. He was hard again- liking the feeling of losing control. Maybe it was that all his life he had to be the masculine one and know what to do and how to do it. Now, Frankie could tell him to spread his legs and Zach would ask how wide?

“Perfect. You look so good for me baby,” Frankie praised and Zach wondered if he could come just from this alone, “Keep counting.”

“Eight...more, Frankie, please...Nine...Ah! T- _ten_..” The last one stung, and Zach could imagine that there were red prints all over his ass and thighs. Frankie, knowing that he had hit him a little too hard was kissing him all over- on his inner thighs, the top of his butt, and even spreading his cheeks to kiss his hole.

“You look perfect baby: begging for more, sweating, shaking, moaning my name...There’s only one thing missing from this perfect picture.”

Oh god, Zach had never had another man cum on him before. It was humiliating to feel the cum and sweat drip down his red ass and thighs, but he couldn't leave this position until Frankie told him he was allowed. He wanted to hide his face under the covers as Frankie looked down at him reverently as though he was the most perfect thing he had ever seen. Zach, although he couldn't admit it, liked the idea that Frankie would take whatever he wanted because Zach belonged to him.

“You did so good, baby. You deserve a reward for such good behavior. Have you ever been eaten out, Zach?”

“What’s that? I thought only girls got...I didn't know guys could do that to each other.”

“Let me show you, and you can tell me how you like it,” Frankie promised as he knelt down and spread Zach’s cheeks once more. At this point, Zach was a trembling mess of nerves, and the feeling on Frankie’s tongue inside him was too much, Zach screamed Frankie’s name for the whole city to hear, and he gripped the covers as he came untouched. Afterwards, Frankie held him tightly and asked him how he had liked it. Zach could only hide his face in Frankie’s shoulder as if he hadn't let Frankie just finger him, spank him, and then eat him out all in the span of one hour.

“I never...I never felt anything like that. I never thought sex could be like that. I never liked foreplay or spanking or any of that shit before I had met you. God, I know this must have been normal for you, but this was _amazing_ for me.

“It was amazing for me too.”

“Oh, please. I’m such a little virgin...you've probably had men much more experienced and versatile than me.”

Frankie smiled and kissed Zach’s still sweaty forehead, “I like your inexperience...it gives you an innocence. You should have seen your face when I ate you out...and all the sweet little noises that came out of your mouth. I love you, Zach, and that makes the sex perfect. I want to have sex with you- not other men- for the rest of my life.”

Zach could feel his heart stop, and he sniffed as tears welled up in his eyes. He buried his face into Frankie’s neck and inhaled his comforting scent. Why was it all so simple and yet...not?

“Frankie, I wish that I was brave enough to come out and be worthy of your love. I wish that I could be your boyfriend and hold your hand, but I...I just have so many different voices around me. Plus, I’m not even gay...I’m just not straight.”

“Oh, rose, you’ll always be perfect to me the way you. You are brave. You are worthy. We’ll figure this out,” Frankie held out his hand and Zach interlaced their fingers. He felt so at peace here, and he could hear the vibrations of Frankie’s words against his cheek. As he spoke, Frankie rubbed his back wiped away a couple of Zach's stray tears.

“Even if we don’t make what we have official to the world today...or tomorrow...or the day after that...know that I love you, Frankie. I promise.”

“I love you too, baby, and what we have is worth waiting for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, how quickly I go from angst to horny, naughty sex. Well, it seems Zach likes it ;)
> 
> The next chapter will most likely be the last, but Zach still has a little bit more to go as he accepts himself, their relationship, and the 'kinkier' side of himself....
> 
> Comment if you liked this/are excited for more! :D


	8. The End and Beginning

Zach moved in with Frankie on January 15, and it was long over due.

His mother, who has been against the move, called him the second he arrived in New York to ask how he felt. When Zach saw Frankie waiting for him, he smiled into the receiver and told her he felt like he was _home_.

Zach fit into Frankie's life easily, and, although he could never have seen himself moving to New York a year ago, couldn't have been happier.

He had lived before in a haze of smoke and video games and worked at a Thai restaurant. Zach had expected his life to continue to be mundane and ordinary. Yet, every day with Frankie was a new adventure. Frankie would arrive in the apartment, cheeks rosy and eyes sparkling, and announce that they were going to go visit a new, secret nightclub he had read about. Zach would follow Frankie into the most dingy or  upscale spot on earth.

Even things that should have been boring, like grocery shopping, were exciting. Zach had never felt so free before and he ran to the cereal aisle to pick out an assortment of cereals (no fruitloops because he was fucking sick of eating fruitloops). Frankie would break out into a song and they would skip through the aisles.

Frankie would pay for everything and that made Zach, who had no steady source of income besides selling t-shirts to fans, guilty. In fact, their first argument had been about money. Zach and Frankie went to a custom suit maker, and Frankie had insisted that he wanted to pay. Like always.

"Frankie! You bought lunch today and you bought me a new watch and you pay for rent! Please,let me pay for this suit," Zach spoke in an angry whisper because there were other customers in the shop. Frankie crossed his arms.

"Zach. I'm fully employed, have a steady income, and my net worth is in the millions. How would it make any sense for me NOT to pay? You're a college grad without a job, and I'm sorry but 'Swagoo' isn't going to foot all of our expenses."

"Why the fuck are we buying such an expensive suit?! Jeesus, and our lunch was 200 and my watch two thousand and I don't even want to think about how much our apartment is and I'm going to have an anxiety and-"

"Zach, baby," Frankie lowered his voice until Zach had to lean in to hear what he was saying, "I can afford it. I LIKE to spend money on you. I LIKE to spoil you with new things and to take you to new places. It makes me feel good."

Zach looked at his boyfriend (oh god, it was so strange to think of him like that) and swallowed. Of course, Frankie could afford all of this, but Zach's frugality made him uneasy with all this constant splurging. Zach had been raised in an upper middle class family that didn't eat out at French Restaurants every other night or buy gold watches on a whim. Yet, Frankie came from a different world then he did.

"Yah? I just...makes me feel weird to have you giving me everything when I can't give you anything in return," Zach mumbled, and Frankie smiled at his modesty. Frankie wrapped his arms around him and stroked his hair. For a couple minutes they stood like that, warm against each other.

"You give me other things," Frankie whispered against his lips, "Zach haven't I told you I like when I take care of you? Remember- I get off on it. I like to give you anything that you need or want. Let me take care of you. Please, baby."

Zach groaned and rolled his eyes because he knew what Frankie was trying to do to him. Frankie had one hand curled around his neck and the other rubbing his stomach, and Zach was one more 'baby' from being semi. Jesus christ was this really his life? Where his billionaire boyfriend coddled him until he let him buy expensive suits for him?

"Of course, Frankie. I like when you do things for me too, but I want to give back somehow. Maybe I could buy everything less than twenty dollars? And we could split the bill at restaurants?"

Frankie nodded, knowing that it was reasonable, but he pouted all the way home. He wasn't in the mood for sex either, which was odd as they were always in the mood, and when Zach got hard against him, he told him to take care of it himself. Zach almost cried, unsure of what he had done wrong, and he rolled over to jerk off by himself. He was only a minute in when Frankie rolled back around and kissed his neck. Zach keened at the touch.

"Sorry, I'm just...do you want me to help you?"

"Duh, rose," Zach leaned back into his caress and kissed Frankie on the lips.

"It's not like I know that you can't do this yourself. Like, jerk off or buy yourself lunch or dress yourself, Zach. I don't think you understand that I LIKE to do it for you. Alot." Frankie spoke as he slowly wrapped his hand around Zach, and he moaned at the feeling of Frankie's fingers gently stroking him. Zach couldn't ever keep up a conversation during sex besides a breathless yeah or oh?, but Frankie loved to talk during these moments.

"I want to be the one who you look to when you have a problem or anything. I want to hold you and kiss you and be the only one that you need. I want to buy you the moon, baby, because you deserve it. God, I've never been in love so deep like this, and it makes me happy to see you wearing clothes and eating food that I paid for. It makes me feel...useful. Wanted," Frankie spoke as his fingers found the dripping of precum and spread them down his cock. Zach only nodded along, and pushed back into the touches.

"Fuck, _Frankie_. I- I want you. No, I n-need you. I need you so bad," Zach shuddered as he came against Frankie's hand, and Frankie continued to hold him even after his cum was dripping down his stomach. Frankie kissed him again, and Zach felt too sated to argue anymore.  Frankie was hard against him, and Zach knew how he liked to jerk off. Zach pushed off the blankets and leaned against the bedpost with his ass exposed. He knew Frankie would like it even better if Zach had been fingered or spanked, but they were both too tired tonight.

"Take your time, Frankie," Zach mumbled, and he wondered what his past self would have thought about him. What would fifteen year old Zach, so full of pomp and ego, have said if he could see him with his face pressed in the pillow and cum dripping down his ass? Zach was sure that his past self could never imagine how god it felt. Or how he would come to crave it.

They cuddled to sleep that night, Frankie whispering sweet nothings in his ear, and Zach sighed in contentment. There were worse things to worry about than how much your boyfriend was spending on you. Or the fact that he got off on buying you everything.

So when Frankie bought him a brand new pair of sneakers or booked them a five day vacation in a ski resort, Zach bit his tongue.

\------

"Yes, Mom, we're leaving tomorrow. Yes, of course he's skied before! Do you think he's just going to push me off the edge of the mountain and leave me there to fend for myself? No, I didn't tell anyone on twitter. We just want to take some time away from social media and think more about ourselves..Yes! Mom! Mom, I'm going to hang up in thirty seconds if you ask about 'using protection again.' Yes, I love you too. _Bye_."

Zach hung up after the longest twenty minutes of his life and hid his head in his hands. Frankie rubbed his back soothingly but didn't say anything. Their flight left early in the morning, and Frankie was still packing. Zach had planned to do it yesterday but then Frankie had decided that Zach HAD to see Wicked ("I can't have such an uncultured boyfriend! It's a sin to date me and not have seen this Broadway show!).

"Ever since I've moved to New York my parents have been calling me literally every five seconds. I don't who's more demanding- my mother or my fans."

"Neither. I demand all of your attention, Zach."

"That's not fair because I'm in _love_ with you," Zach answered easily, and Frankie smiled up at him. They shared a look.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that. I'm serious. Give me a five minute loop of you saying that, and I'll have enough wank material for the next month. Maybe we'll just take a video..."

"Ew, Frankie. I have enough of my love for you on tape. God, I thought you got off on calling me baby and buying me shit. Do we _REALLY_ need to explore your exhibitionist tendencies?" Zach rolled his eyes as Frankie wiggled his eyebrows. Even though it was late, Zach stayed up late scrolling through his twitter. The whole fandom thought they were together, but they had decided not to go public until Zach felt comfortable.

\------

Frankie woke him up at four am, and Zach was grouchy getting up. He was used to sleeping in until noon. So he hugged his pillow close to him and dozed off a little in the taxi, but Frankie shook him awake and promised he could sleep on the plane.

When Zach woke up, they were touching down in Vermont. The trees were glazed with snow, and he stared at the winter wonderland in awe. As soon as they left the airport, Zach shivered. Frankie had bought him all sorts of coats and hats and gloves, which Zach had been too afraid to look at the price tag, but he wasn't prepared for the cold.

Zach sighed in relief as they entered the warmth of the ski lodge that they were staying at. Frankie whispered his ear that he would 'warm him up in bed,' and Zach shivered in eagerness. The hotel lobby was filled with couples, and, as Frankie casually wrapped a hand around his shoulder and kissed him on the cheek, he realized this was a couple's getaway. And everyone here would think they were a couple.

Zach blushed as he was given a room card, and the receptionist winked as he told them to enjoy their stay. Zach had seen a lot of five star hotels where he lived, all gleaming towers of glass, but he had never seen such an intimate place. There was a great roaring fire in the center of the hotel, with coaches around it, and the scent of fresh cookies made Zach pause.

"Frankie! Frankie! They baked cookies. Look, right there! Can I go have one?" He tugged on Frankie's arm, and Frankie laughed.

"Um, yes, rose. They make cookies at five o'clock for all the guests. And you're now a guest- so go ahead."

Zach grabbed four; he stuffed two in his mouth and one for each hand. They melted in his mouth and reminded him of the Big Brother house and the HOH room and cuddles. He couldn't stop smiling now and kissing Frankie as if trying to share his joy and gratitude in every kiss. They were in an elevator with their luggage, and Zach couldn't pull away from Frankie until the doors opened and an elderly couple joined them.

"Oh, it's quite alright, dear. Me and my husband were the same way on our honeymoon. We couldn't stand to let go of each other for a gosh darn second. Where was the wedding?"

Frankie rubbed the back of his neck, "We're not married."

"Engaged then?"

"Maybe soon," Zach cut in, and Frankie smiled so wide that it looked painful.

The moment that they were inside their hotel room Zach threw Frankie onto their bed, and climbed on top of him. There was a fire crackling in the pit, and Frankie looked beautiful in his red turtleneck. He knew that Frankie had spent an absurd amount of money to get this suite for a week, and it only made Zach hornier.

"Wait, you haven't seen the best part. Come on, baby, I'll fuck you in a minute- come look at this!" Frankie pushed him off and dragged him to the balcony. Zach gasped as he realized that it was their own private hot tub. There was strategic shrubbery to shield them from onlookers, but they could look up at the starry sky.

"What do you think?"

"It's perfect," Zach said, but he was looking at Frankie as he spoke.

\------

In public, they got some strange stares. Maybe it was because they were one of the few gay couples at the resort. Maybe it was because Frankie couldn't lay off the baby talk. Yes, Zach decided, it was probably all the baby talk. Back in New York, they managed to keep it in the bedroom. Vermont made them forget their inhibitions.

"Tell me if it feels tight, baby," Frankie cooed as he kneeled before Zach and adjusted the buckles on his ski boots. Zach stood up and shook his head and asked for a size larger. The women helping them eagerly went to get them another pair to try on.

Frankie insisted on helping him try on all his equipment, and even a task as simple as this quickly became sensual. Frankie rubbed Zach's feet as he helped pull them out of the too-tight-boots. Zach smiled at the treatment, and a father who was helping his child into her boots looked vaguely horrified.

"These feel good," Zach decided as Frankie buckled up the next pair, and the lady helping them looked relieved that they were leaving. So now he had all his equipment, and Frankie had packed him with enough scarves and hand warmers and kisses to leave him warm as they headed outside.

Frankie had skied many times in his youth, and he put on his ski's with ease. He had to show Zach how to snap his boots into his skis. Zach wobbled uncertainly, but Frankie was pulling him to the chairlift. Zach had never ridden on a chairlift before, and he might have fell off if Frankie hadn't grabbed him by his jacket and pulled down the safety bar.

"Okay, I'm getting kind of nervous now," Zach held Frankie's hand tightly as they swayed back and forth on the chairlift.

"Oh, skiing is easy. Remember, the idea is to ski down the mountain. And turn a little. Easy."

"Says the boy with balance and professional training in dance. I'm a frat boy who plays golf. What the hell would I know about skiing?"

Looking down made him dizzy as he watched more advanced skiiers zoom by.

Frankie kissed him on the one spot he wasn't covered by cloth and told him to relax again. Zach almost died getting off the chairlift as he tripped on his skis and the dumb chair whacked him on the butt.

"Okay, Zach. This is easy. We're on a green trail- the bunny hill," Frankie pulled him towards the edge, and Zach froze up in horror. He had no idea what to do.

"Relax! Look, those are five year olds over there heading down. Just remember to skii down and you can't go wrong. Follow me," Frankie pushed off and effortlessly zoomed down. Of course, this was the only moment that Frankie had decided to NOT baby him, and one of the only times Zach actually NEEDED him to.

So Zach pushed off. He crashed into the snow as he skiis tangled up and he lay on the ground for a moment. This was not his sport. But he needed to get down, and he got back up and tried again. He copied the 'wedgie' that the five year olds were performing and moved down the mountain. He feel again as he couldn't turn and crashed into a skiier in front of him.

"Is skiing supposed to be that painful? Because I feel like those five year olds whooped my ass. Really, I would be less sore if you had fucked me on the chairlift."

"Um, it was a good start. How about...a hot coco break?"

Zach was eager to strip off his skii's and he trudged after Frankie into the base lodge. He tried to make the hot coco last as long as possible, begging Frankie for seconds, and tried to distract him with kisses. Anything to avoid the metal chair of death and the cold fall down the mountain. Frankie could sense his frustration, and he disappeared for fifteen minutes.

"Guess what, Zach? I signed you up for a private lesson. It's called 'parallel from the start.' Isn't that nice? You can learn how to ski, and I'll be able to go up the mountain. It's a win-win, don't you think?"

"Sure," Zach pouted, feeling like a lost cause, but Frankie only helped him to strap on his boots, buttoned up his coat, and kissed him goodbye. Zach found himself strapped into the death chair again with a crusty old man and two seven year old twins.

Timmy and Jimmy, who were from Long Island, whined that they wanted to ski with their older brothers and not with some 'dumb old dude,' and Zach privately agreed. But he was supposed to be a 24 year old man who did not cry getting off a ski chair or staring down the bunny hill.

The twins picked up much quicker then he did, but when he managed to ski down without falling, Zach decided that was a victory. Timmy and Jimmy waited for their parents to pick them up and Zach waited for Frankie.

"Is that your big brother?" Timmy asked.

"No, it's his dad," Jimmy decided.

"Nu-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Both of you fruitloops are wrong- it's my boyfriend," Zach declared proudly as Frankie elegantly skiied down to him. Frankie kissed him chastely on the lips, and the two twins 'oohh'ed in unison and then asked if that meant he was a 'homosexual.' Zach wasn't really sure how to respond to that so he just poked them with his pole.

\------

That night they cracked open a bottle of wine and swam in the warm water.

"To Big Brother- for bringing us together," Frankie lifted his glass, and the moon cast it's pale shadow in the red liquid.

"To us- for staying together despite all the odds," Zach toasted.

Frankie took a sip, stripped his swimming shorts, and straddled Zach. Zach gripped his ass as Frankie pressed down onto him. Their kiss tasted of alcohol and love, and Zach was drunk from the flavor.

"Ever been fucked in a Jacuzzi?" Frankie asked, and if Zach had a diamond ring on him then he would have proposed right there and then. Zach wouldn't mind spending the rest of his life like this with Frankie. Anywhere. Everywhere.

\------

**Author's Note:**

> Can Zach be honest with himself and with Frankie? Will Zankie prevail outside the house? Find out in the next chapter :0
> 
> Comment if you liked this/want more!!!


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